Express your thoughts Freely.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Happy_ Well all can be~

This year has been a very successful one for me, i have met a lot of people on blogger, i have gotten a new Job, And also fell in love.

When i started this blog i was out of school and out of a job and single,i was very much depressed and have no one to share my pain with, then about a year ago i met this lovely young lady who also share the same profession as i do, we both have crazy work schedule but we tried our best to make time for each other which worked sometimes. By the summer time rolled around and our schedule freed up a little, we started to hang out a bit more, spending time on the beach, holding hand walking the long shore of fire Island, visiting the light house, boating,hiking, you name it we did it.

So by the end of the summer i realized that my feeling for this young lady was more than i though it was, which i had no problem expressing to her as she is the most amazing person to have a conversation with and she made it easier as her feelings was mutual.

We have been going out from then and we have not spent a weekend apart until a thanksgiving she went away to Texas for about five days, which i was home being that the holiday. For the time she was away i got the time to really think about what i have gotten myself in and realized i was not living a life back then when was running and playing games, i started missing her something i never did is miss someone especially someone who will just be away fro five days, but to be honest this was the longest five days i have ever had in my entire life. I know we will have lots of time apart as we both love to travel and will not always go away together but for the she will be away ill miss her because she is very special to me.

So i am saying this to say to my fellow single blogger don't give up hope, that special someone is there it takes time and effort to find them.When you find them treat them as though they are special and it will be a great feeling.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Where the hell have i been!

My life some drastic changes which i am not getting use to, i felt as though i have not written in years and i am totally out of whack with whats been going on.

Good things have been coming my way for my Birth I got a Mac Book Pro which i really love, this is the first blog i have attempt to write on it. Its really a cool machine the only problem i have encountered so far is that i cant open my trading account as internet explorer no longer make the browser for mac,however i got over that by splitting my hard drive ans have window running on my mac. so now i have two operation systems running which is cool.

I did an interview today for a Accounting Position at an Accounting/CPA firm i am looking forward to working with them,hopefully i did well in the interview and they like me.'''


Hope every one has been doing well.



Best of luck.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

MAY BE

1. Maybe. . we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

2. Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

3. Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

4. Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

5. Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

6. Maybe . . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

7. Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

8. Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

9. Maybe . . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

10. Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

11. Maybe . . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

12. Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

13. Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

14. Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

15. Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Does age really matter?


Lets take this from about the age of say 14, not suggesting this the age most females starts dating but just using this as an catalyst to get to the main point. I am always fascinated by how females manipulate age to their advantage, I know you may be wondering how so?

Do you remember when the guy was so immature that you never wanted to date them? Favorite saying was “I don’t date high schools dudes they are so immature” another funny one was “school boy’s money finishes at lunch time”

So as the years go by females ten to hold the belief that immaturity is the reason they don’t date guys their age or younger, its fair to say that females mature much faster that males, but this does not mean they make the batter decision or more informed decisions. One blogger said that “females think with their vagina as much as men think with their ego”

I for one strongly believe that age and maturity does not necessarily goes hand in hand in all cases. The conventional wisdom is that younger guys are just not ready to settle down, they still running around playing games. Is that true? To some extent it is, but it’s not necessarily the age factors that cause this to happen. It all has to do with where a guy is in his life, some men just started having fun when they get marry, some do it while they are in college, but one thing I sure know is that all men want to get to the point where they say this is it. I am done playing games; all I want now is one woman to start a family with. Does age play a part in this not necessarily maturity sure does play a part. I really hate (or should I say dislike as hate it too strong of a word) when people blame age for their lack of achievements in whatever aspect of their lives. Age is no barrier to love, Education, Career and anything society deems as achieving success.

20 years down the line the same females who said I don’t date younger guys is now looking back saying, dam I need a young jockey to rock my boat as the older men is sinking her ship. His penis does not get as hard, he can’t stay as long, he doesn't get arouse as easily, you have to work so hard to get him up, and when he is up he reaches the point of no return too fast.

Suddenly they have a reality check, why didn’t I just date a guy my age? Why don’t I just dump the lazy old man? O no it’s just too late now, with 2 kids and all you just have to settle, buy a toy and help yourself.

Now all of a sudden the younger guys become the target, they are all of a sudden good, looking hip, sexy.

From movies like Something's Gotta Give and Because I Said So to reality dating shows that pit older women against younger gals, the pairing of older women and younger men is becoming increasingly common.
In fact, there is even a new classification for older women who actively seek out younger men. They're called “cougars,” and they’re seen by some as the epitome of liberation in post-feminist times.
But has the once-taboo pairing of older women and younger men really become as common and carefree a choice as Hollywood would have us believe? And more importantly, has society finally blessed this controversial union?
If you are using celebrity couples as your barometer, the answer appears to be yes.

As for me I have no problem with woman dating younger men or men dating younger or older gals once they are of age. But to hell with the double standards, date a man because that’s who makes you happy, not because he has a nice car and appears to be more mature.

To the men’s dating under age girls you should be put away for life, to the underage age girls dating older men its not cool, its really now good for your health and definitely not good for the young guys who are genuinely interested in you and because you fell in love with a older man and he hurt your feelings you all of a sudden become angry woman with a crush ego, defensive and all.

Make wiser choices


People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

RIP BLACK IN AMERICA

Wanted to share this video- The views expressed in this clip is not those of The owner of this blog.However it has some good points.

As of October the 15 the end on Tax Season i will resume my blogging.


Thursday, October 1, 2009

11 Ways to build Self-Esteem

1. Eliminate or Reduce Television Time.
Quit watching so much television. The average person will watch between four and five hours of television a day. Television can be very educational and a fun escape to enjoy in our leisure time. The problem with television is the majority of what we watch is mentally unhealthy. Most shows involve all sorts of unhealthy thoughts and actions.
Watching a police drama may be a nice escape but seeing someone shot or killed will have an impact on your mind. Of course you don’t need to eliminate television completely, but I would reduce it down to an hour or an hour and a half a day. Pick what you watch carefully and try to find shows that will educate and uplift you.

2. Stop Reading/Watching the news.

Let’s face it most of the news you will hear is negative. What’s worse is the news tends to get sensationalized, making things sound worse than they really are. It’s like feeding your mind a diet of nothing but negativity. Rarely is there a positive or uplifting story in the news.
Now you may be asking yourself, “If I stop watching the news how will I know what’s happening?” This is one small possible side effect, but you will be able to find the news from other sources. You will hear the news from friends, family, co-workers or even twitter. Just trust that anything important will make it’s way to you.
3. Motivational Materials.

Feed your mind a regular diet of positive thoughts and motivational materials. To change your self-esteem you’ll want to find replacements for all the negative thoughts you want to eliminate. There’s no better way to do this than finding the time to listen, read, or watch motivational material. There is an amazing amount of motivational material available and if you don’t like one speaker or trainer you’ll find it easy to replace them with someone you do.
Spending at least 15 minutes a day feeding your mind with positive thoughts will have a tremendous impact on your self-esteem. One of the best places to learn is in your car or while exercising. Listening to motivational programs or audio books while driving or exercising is a great way to feed your mind with positive material.
4. Use Visualization.

Visualization is “seeing something before it happens.” You need to mentally picture yourself successfully completing business or personal goals. By visualizing success we can usually increase the chance that it will happen. Get rid of the negative and self-defeating thoughts before you visualize a successful outcome. This will allow you to develop a clear image of what needs to be done.
Try to set aside just 5 minutes a day to practice visualization. If your goal is to lose weight and run a marathon you can close your eyes and see your self running the last kilometre of your marathon. Picture all the people cheering you on. See the finish line up ahead. Think of the thoughts you would tell yourself after achieving such a powerful goal. Live that moment in your mind and you’ll leave your 5 minute visualization feeling extremely good about yourself.
5. Goal Setting.

Goal setting is another fantastic way to build your self-esteem, as long as your goals are achievable. Setting and achieving small daily goals can help us build momentum and self-esteem. Goal setting is a huge subject and something I plan to cover in further detail on YouQuoted.com.
Here are some basics:

1. Set a goal that if you put your mind to it you know you can achieve.
2. Break your goal down to small manageable tasks.
3. Accomplish one of these tasks every day. These daily tasks should be easy to achieve and should fit into your day. For instance, if you have a goal to lose 10 pounds within the next 3 months you may have a daily goal to exercise for 30 minutes.
By achieving this daily goal and not quitting you will gradually build your believe in your abilities. But here’s a warning… If you start to miss your daily goals this can have exactly the opposite effect on your self-esteem. Make sure your daily goals are things that you can do and make sure you stick with them.
6. Change your self-talk.

Self-talk is that little voice in your head that is constantly defining what things mean for you. It’s that non-stop little voice that never quits. This is the voice that is contributing to your lack of self-esteem. Changing your self-talk is not going to be easy. It will be a life long battle to change your negative thoughts into positive, productive thoughts.
Here’s how to change your self-talk.
1. Challenge your self-talk by asking, “Is that true?” Asking the simple question, “Is that true?” will often eliminate your negative thought.
If you are overweight you may call yourself, “Fat.” When you ask, “Is it true?” You may say yes I am “Fat” right now. To answer the question positively you would say, “Yes, I am overweight right now and I’ve made the decision to change this by exercising daily and eating right. I love myself at any weight and I will get better each and every day.”
2. Question what you are saying. A great way to do this is to ask yourself, “Why am I thinking this about myself right now?” This will help you clarify what is bothering you.
As in our previous example if you called yourself “Fat” and you question why you are thinking this right now, it will help you realize what was bothering you. It may be that you just ate a bag of potato chips and you’re on a diet. It may be that you just saw someone much thinner than you and you’re jealous.
3. Replace the thought. Now we want to replace the thought with a more productive thought. “Right now I’ve been thinking I’m (Your Thought) but the truth is I’m (Your Replacement Thought).”
In the example of calling yourself “Fat” you would replace the thought. “Right now I’m thinking that I’m fat, but the truth is I ate potato chips and that was a mistake. I will now get back on track with my goal.”
7. Choose carefully what you believe.

On a daily basis we may hear many many different things about ourselves from others.
• The boss may say “Good job on that report.”
• Your spouse may say, “Great dinner.”
• Your child may say “I hate you.”
• A co-worker may say “Do you even know what you are doing.”
All of these things can happen each and every day. It’s up to you to choose what you believe. Most people with low self-esteem will choose to focus on the negative things they hear about themselves and shrug off the good things they hear.
When someone pays you a compliment do you believe it? Most people do not. When you hear something negative about yourself do you believe it? Most people tend to take in most negative things that are said about them. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we choose to focus on the negative and minimize the positive? If you already have low self-esteem it’s much easier to believe the negative said about you, because you’re already thinking negative thoughts about yourself.
The best way to overcome this is to use the questioning technique to change our self talk.
1. Ask yourself, “Is it true?”
If a co-worker says, “Do you even know what you are doing.” Ask yourself is it true. In some cases it may be true. “Yes, I did not know everything I was doing on this report.”
2. Then question what has been said, “Why are they saying this about me?”
Now ask why they are saying this about you. It may be because they are feeling pressured and your small mistake is going to make extra work for them. It may be because they have their own issues with self-esteem and feel it necessary to attack others when they make a mistake. Try to find a reason for why they are saying this about you.
3. Replace the thought, “Yes, I made a mistake with (What your were criticized about) but the truth is I (Your replacement thought).
Now that you know the truth find a replacement thought that you want to have replayed in your subconscious mind. “Yes, I did not know everything about that report. However, I did a great job given my experience and I learned how to do it better next time.”
8. Stop making up stories about what people think about you.

How do you know if someone really likes you? The truth is you really will never know whether they truly like you or not. For some this may be bad news, because being liked by everyone is a high priority. You might even classify yourself as a people pleaser. But the reality is some people will like you and some will not. If they like you, that’s great. If they don’t like you that’s fine too. Just don’t get into the trap of trying to guess who likes you and who doesn’t. It really doesn’t matter and it can drive you nuts.
One of the best ways to overcome this comes from a buddhist philosophy called, “The Nobel Eightfold Path.” Without describing this in detail it talks about how you should live your life as a way to end suffering. “The Nobel Eightfold Path,” is comprised of Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right mindfulness, Right concentration. Even without describing each of these in detail you should have a good idea of this philosophy.
If you live your life in a way that doesn’t harm others you should not worry about what others think. Knowing that you’re living the best life you can is often enough to help you overcome the fear of what others think about you. If you know you are doing the best you can then you can be detached of the thoughts of others.
However, if you are talking about people behind their backs. If you are cheating someone of something. If you are harsh to others. Then you will constantly be worried about what is being said about you. The way to cure this is to start living your best life.
9. Stop beating yourself up.
Guess what? You are going to make mistakes before you die. Yep, that’s the honest truth. You are going to screw up and have a day where you just want to throw your head under the covers and hide from the world. You’re going to get tongue tied in an important meeting and you’ll probably trip a few times in front of people. Knowing that these things are probably going to happen can stop you from beating yourself up.
You are a human being and we make mistakes. We do dumb things sometimes. Even the best drivers get in car accidents. So when life hands you an embarrassing moment don’t use it as an excuse to beat yourself up. Try to laugh it off as one of those little embarrassing moments that just happen from time to time.
If you catch yourself beating yourself up, stop it immediately and replace that thought. “I made another mistake, no big deal. I will learn from this.” Find a thought that works for you and make sure you put and end to this immediately. This has a terrible effect on our self-esteem.
10. Find three positive things you did each day.

This is a great exercise that will force you look for the positive in yourself. At first this little exercise may be very difficult. You may come to the end of your day and find yourself focusing on the negative stuff you did instead of the positive. Force yourself to shift your mind to find just three things you did well.
These could be simple things.
• You let someone in your lane when driving.
• You called a family member and told them you loved them.
• You found time to read some motivational material.
• You took a co-worker out to lunch.
Of course you can also use big accomplishments.
• Winning an award.
• Buying a new house.
• Getting positive feedback from a presentation.
The trick is to find just three things you did well each and everyday.
Don’t limit yourself to just three items. If you feel you can find more than three things you did well, then write those down as well. You’re building your self-esteem everyday with this habit. It’s amazing what happens between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind when your write down positive thoughts.
11. Practice affirmations continually.

One of the best affirmations you can use came from Brian Tracy. He suggests saying “I like myself” repeatedly in your mind. The effect of this simple affirmation is astounding. Try is now, say, “I like myself,” 20 times in your mind. Better yet, go to your bathroom mirror and say it out loud as you stare into your eyes. Give it a try.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative just repeat, “I like myself,” to yourself as many times as you feel is appropriate. The more the better. It may sound foreign to most and if you have low self-esteem you may even get emotional saying this. The emotion comes from finding the truth. Realizing that you truly do love yourself.
Of course there are many wonderful affirmations you can add to your life that will also help your self-esteem. Here’s just a few:
• “I can do anything I set my mind to!”
• “I am a great communicator!”
• “When I talk people listen!”
• “People like me!”
• “I am a great person!”
• “Everyday in every way I get better and better!”
Repeating affirmations alone is often not enough. You should also try to feel the affirmation in your body as you say it. Pump your fist as you say it. Better yet, yell out an enthusiastic “YES,” at the end of an affirmation. The more energy you bring to an affirmation the better the results.
A word of warning

Although we don’t want to beat ourselves up. We do want to be realistic about what’s happening in our lives. That doesn’t mean making things worse then they are, but don’t make them better than they are either. Tell yourself the truth about everything. If you’re overweight don’t look in the mirror and call yourself thin, instead decide if you are comfortable with where you are or not. If you’re not comfortable then set a goal to make this change.
The best definition of success I’ve ever heard came from the late Earl Nightingale who said, “Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile goal.” This means that as long as you are moving towards your goal you are successful. If your goal is to lose weight and you exercised today and you ate the appropriate amount and type of food today then… YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL. Make sure you feel that way about yourself and enjoy the process.
Self esteem is a huge subject and something that each of us should work on in our lives on a daily basis. It leads to a much more enjoyable life and is the cornerstone of happiness. Choose to work on your self-esteem and watch the quality of your life improve.

http://www.youquoted.com/(Source)

Monday, September 14, 2009

Missing In Action

M>I>A




I know I have been away for a really long time, it’s as if I went on vocation and my life begun. I have been working on a business deal with a partner that has totally taken over my life. But due to the fact that I am a strong believer that there is no way you could work a 9-5 and live comfortable so I keep pressing on. I have tons of blog in my blackberry that I have written just don’t have the time to post them. But I feel I owe the people who care or those who just read the crazy crap I write an explanation as to why I am M.I.A .

While on my vocation I met this lovely young lady who I think might be the one, we hardly talk due to the fact that I am so focused on this project, really want to hit the ground running but it takes a lot of time and money. So I would say love is not on the top of my list, I need to achieve my childhood dream of owning my business here in NYC.

My social life has been non-existent mainly for the same reason. But when I feel down because of such, I remember what my mom always told me, work hard so you could play harder, hopefully that holds through. My family they have been really supportive of my idea in everyway possible and that I am grateful of.

Education- I have decided to put this on hold for sometime even though I think I could manage both, the real reason I did this was due to the fact that I am somewhat not sure if exactly which way I want to take my carrier. Its only two areas of interest I have which is Investment Banking and or continuing on the Accounting field. Which would be either doing the CPA.or never go public? Once upon a time all I wanted to do was go public but I have taken a second look on the amount of hours they contract you to, and the work load. You’re rewarded accordingly but where the conflict comes in is that you’re not allowed to do another job, as they need your total attention at the job at hand.

This is the reason why the Masters in Investment Banking is the one that is still standing as my favorite; however I am no rush I want to make the best decision possible.

If you guys have any ideas, please feel free to share them with me.

Friday, July 31, 2009

I will miss you guys.

I will miss you guys.



Just a quick note I leave for vocation Saturday morning, I highly doubt that I will write a post when I am away, but one thing you guys could look out for one when I get back, their will lots of pictures.

Have a great weekend.

I will see you guys in two weeks. fallow me on twitter http://twitter.com/jackostain

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My admiration for women!

Would it be fair to say that women are the corner stone of our society and our existence? Many may disagree with this statement but I for one feel very strong about it. My inspiration to write about this after all came to me from the lady next door.

One morning as I got up out my bed and got ready for work, I started thinking about my neighbor, she is very beautiful, seem smart and educated. But all of this was my assumption as we never exchanged words, typical New York style neighbors, we pass you go and come and never find it cool enough to say hello as everyone is always about their own business. But something about this lady a little more than that, she has the most beautiful smile ever, the shape of her body is one that any men would crave. But this was not what got me interested in this young lady.

One day we both got out our apartments together and I could tell it was very awkward for her as it was for me, as its very hard not to look over at the person standing right next to you, however we both got out that and looked at each other at the same time. So here we were steering each other in the eyes. Until she suddenly broke the ice and said something to the effect of “hey! All this time I didn’t know you lived right next to me”

From this moment on we started smiling at each other, saying hello here and there, whenever it’s convenient. But all of a sudden we started seeing each other more often, so our relation started feeling a little less weird. So at this point I started taking notice of her.

I knew she also worked in the city as we would get on the train together in the morning times and she usually gets off before I do. But all of this was not what keep me intrigued all this time.

Every evening or most evening when I am back home form work I would see this lady taking the kids home, taking them to the park, taking our her laundry to get it done. So I started to wonder if her husband ever did any work at all. How does she get by doing all this work on a daily basis? After working for 8-10 hours a day I know I am completely exhausted, I don’t want to see anyone or anything but my bed. No but this lady has three kids and a husband to tend to after working the same amount or more hours than I do.

So in essence she works 3 jobs, the 9-5 then the other taking care of the kids plus the one taking care of her business in the bedroom. How can I not admire women? I know for sure she is not the only one doing this, I know for sure that this is not affixed to one race as I see women of all races doing this day in day out. It’s as if they just know they have to do it and they have no choice. But in essence they do have a choice; they could have run away, they could have given up the kids for adoption. But they did not; they are sticking it out day after day. So whey then should we not treat woman as equal as men, when in essence they actually do a whole lot more in society that men actually do. Not saying that you don’t have men that do all of the above but the overwhelming majority is women.


I could not close this blog without mentioning my mom and my aunt, who for most part was the most influential in my upbringing. My aunt did not have kids of her own so I was her son for the most part I enjoyed all the things she would buy me, but that’s only if I performed well in school. This was my motivation for the formative years of my life. It was either perform well and get gifts or not and get noting. Let’s just say I was a sucker for sweets so I made sure I performed well for the most part. While my aunt was taking care of me, my mom was there starting her business. At the time my aunts husband was the loan officer at the bank so he helped my mom got the small business loan she needed to get started; all this was fine and dandy. My mom had all the plans laid out in the world how she would use this money and be able to repay the loan and still come out at a profit.

So one day she called and said she got the loan now she doesn’t have a clue what to do, lol. This was really funny to every one seeing that we all though she had all angels covered, but in fact she was just a great sales person with a great bluff. It was not long before she figured it all out and her business was on the way. With no knowledge of business and nor accounting for that matter she went ahead as a sole proprietor. Her business did well for a number of years. She was now able to take care of her self and her family. This however did not came easily it came after years of fighting with male competitors at negations with her gender being question as to weather or not she could move the units. But she did not give up she press on and was successful in the end.

Greatness is not measured by what a man or woman accomplishes, but by the opposition he or she has overcome to reach his goals. Dorothy Height

Women to me are the corner stone of society.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Competition could be good for relationship but the reverse is also true.

We're all exposed to some form of competition from our earliest childhoods. We competed with our siblings for our parent's affections, we competed with our classmates
for the teacher's attention and we competed in sports or academic events. In our adolescence, we continued to compete for college scholarships or spots in an athletic team. We even competed for the attentions of members of the opposite sex. All these I guess is left up to the way you were raised. As someone family are more laid back and less competitive. But in my family you have to be the best. Or at least act like you are.
This competitive spirit often serves a positive purpose- it keeps us motivated to improve ourselves by occasionally comparing our own skills against others. But sometimes competition brings on situations where we get so caught up in the pursuit of 'winning' that we lose sight of the benefits of not winning. This is one of the dangers couples face in romantic relationships.

It would be nice if we could completely switch off our competitive urges, but we can't. Two individuals meet, often under competitive circumstances, and a complicated cycle of ambition and compromise often begins. In a sense, the meeting itself is a result of competition. One or both partners took the initiative and successfully pursued someone who may have been seen as a 'prize catch' by others. Thus a romantic relationship already begins with a sense of achievement through competition.
Sometimes a competitive spirit can bring out better qualities in both partners. Each individual accomplishment promotes a positive sense of 'if she can do it, so can I'. Romantic partners can provide each other with a tangible example of what ambition and drive can do. Someone who tends to remain on the sidelines while others move forward may find the resolve to improve himself or herself. In the most positive sense of competition, demonstrating your own ambition might spur a romantic partner to break out of a slump and become more energized. The only caveat would be to realize when you're being constructively competitive and when you're being recklessly driven by ego. Romantic partners may appreciate each other's competitive natures, but one may begin to build up resentment if the other is constantly away for contests or career-boosting.

You guy maybe wondering what lead me to writing this. Its also a combinations of things one I think my focus on achieving has be so much so that it lead to me being single for the longest while and it has also damage some relationships I had. Second is that I recently had an exam and I tweet about my score compared to my friend score and someone reply that it was plain arrogance. But I begged to differ.
We both went to the same class did the same exams, he got 97 and I got 93 so I was saying that I was pissed and that warrant the repose of arrogance. I know we are all from different backgrounds and cultures. But for me and my college friends it was not seen as arrogance it was plain competition, which was advantageous to all of us as we kept each other on point. For some just passing an exam is completely fine but for other mastering the subject matter and showing that in the form of performing well in an exam on the subject matter is way more important, which so happens to be the way I am.( friends also)

I know that my competitive sprit has its Disadvantages (In Relationship)
As competition left unchecked can lead to conflict. An issue that may be readily resolved with a little compromise may escalate to a full-blown battle instead. The idea of being proven wrong or having to settle for second place is not always a good thing for competitive personalities to consider. Winning the argument becomes more important than reconciling the facts which prompted it; this is where I think compromise and just plain right walking out the house at times come in handy.
Not suggesting that I am running away from the problem at hand but at times facing the problem when a person is upset is not in all cases the right thing to do. For me I really hate arguments as it never solves one thing. It ether lead to some plates been broken or laptop been slammed to the floor, which will cost to be replaced.

This is where I think knowing when to let go and compromise comes in. but on the other hand I really hate to hear people talking bullshit. Most recent is Michael Jackson, the media said that Michael Jackson was 450 million in debt, some people find that hard to believe or I “cant believe where did all of his money went” not taking into consideration that the guys estate is worth more than the debt that he has. They instead take it as he is broke. For most of us if we should die will die with debt weather it be the mortgage on the house the car note, credit cards, this however does not mean that your life insurance does not amount to more than your expenses. I think people should not just listen to the media for talking point but research with they are talking about because it shows ignorance. This is one of my recent arguments with a guy that I was not willing to compromise on, as he was saying that MJ died broke.

Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself. Robert Collier

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Been some time now.

I know I have not written for sometime now, reason being I am so busy studying for my Securities license, many of you may not have know but yes I am switching from Accounting to Finance, many say I am crazy in this time to be making such move, but I think the time is just right.

I am tired of sitting all day doing the same thing over and over and over again.

As for some reason I am always more passionate and effective when working with people. I guess what I am trying to say s that I am more of a people person that a computer person.

Another issue that I am dealing with is a former co-worker, who just got out of a sixteen years relationship who is totally devastated. So my time I usually spend blogging or chilling I spend with her offering her advise being that I am been single for the longest while lol I may not be the right person right?

My vocation is coming up very soon, going to Jamaica for two weeks I really want wait!.

I know a lot of you guys who read my blog are professional or know a lot of professionals. So I would really appreciate a referral to a friend who is in the finance industry or anyone who may have any connections. I have 3 years experience in the finance service industry, for further information leave me a comment requesting it. I will be more that gland to shoot you a copy of my resume.

You all should check out http://20sb.net/chat, its a great networking chat room.


Thanks much

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Dear Dad.( Or should I say sperm donor)

At the tender age of 8 years old when they had kidnapped you after meeting you for the first time about two months before and totally in love with you for reason I cant seem to explain or understand. I guess Robert Green Law of Isolation hold through. The love I felt for you was unreal not in a GAY way but of a father to a son. I cried night and day and prayed that those guys would have let you go alive.

I cried so much that I had constant headache, I could not come to term with the fact that I just met you and was loosing you so fast. I would not eat or sleep all I did was stand by the phone to hear my grandmother call with good new while bracing myself for the bad news also. Neither came and I could not take it anymore, my mom was sick of me crying and decided that she would take me to my grandma house so at least I could shut the hell up. When I got to the house I noticed that everyone was moving fast and nothing I could have comprehend at that time was said, I felt as though I was in a maze.

Finally I went inside and my Grandma sitting with tears running from he eyes, I could not help but tear up myself as grandpa looked on as studios and he always looked. Word finally broke that you had somehow escaped and run away from your kidnappers. How? I have no clue, but one thing I knew is that I was happy.

All this time I wondered why mom never showed any sympathy for you and asked me why the hell was I even crying, but I guess I was too young to understand that you were just a good for nothing piece of shit. (her words not mines) but when your young all you want to see is your mom and dad being happy and enjoying the beauty of life, not knowing that things was already gone bad in the relationship and you had broken up with her before I was even born. How sweet of you MR. Jackson how sweet!!

While I was in the 5th grade one day I went to the cooler in school to get some water, it so happen that me and this dude got there the same time I decided that I got there first, he was not having it and even though he was in a higher grade I had not planning on backing down. There we were fighting at the cooler almost killing each other. The principal summoned us to her office and punished us by locking us in a dark room. When that was done she called in our parents.

My mom and his did supposedly would be there to represent us, on that lovely Monday morning I was yet again pleasantly surprised by your cleverness for lack of a mean word.
Your turned up as this kid dad, to my surprise I was having a fight with my bother, yeah I said that my brother. Couldn’t you have at least have decency to at least introduce us to each other? No you were too clever MR. Jackson.

15 years later I sit at my desk remembering all these things and I now can laugh about them, even though I and that brother never have a relationship of any sort I still value that day. As fathers day rolls around I wonder how you felt to know that not even one of your kid as much as called you or sent you a card. Doesn’t it feel good Mr. Jackson?
You and I never ever had a sun and father moment which I have grown to accept but that day we had a…….. To be continued...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Great adventure-Six Flags more flags more fun

I got to the park around 11 am, so I was wondering what I should do first, so I went to superman but that had a 2 hour wait. So I am like dam did these people like sleep over to get here this early. The guy suggest that I got one of The Flash pass so I went and got one which cost me $65, for the 3 of us who went.

My first ride was scream machine, so the flash pass got me pass every one else to the front of the line and I got in. first thing I notice was that this ride was wooden and old iron, two very bad combination, the squeaking noise this thing made did not help to calm my nerves, as it climb at 75 degree, it got to a sudden stop then it fell 90 degrees with speed of about 60 pmh. At this I was just about to say amen in the hour father payer. But all came out was “ooooooo shit!!!! Ooooo shit!!! As it made the rigorous turns with our bodies hanging our hearts feeling like it want to jump out our chest, belly feeling like it’s about to come through our mouth. By this time my eyes were closed, seeing and feeling it was too much for me. My friend was all happy feeling good looking forward to the next ride while I was searching for the exit.

By this time I came to the realization that I did not drive this far to waste my money and with the encouragement of my friends I stayed.

They went on this thing don’t quite remember the name, but what it does is, they put you in something like a stiff jacket and attach a wire, it then left you up 150 feet then slingshot you about 300 yards outward I know I have done a few crazy things but I would never go on that thing.

The worst of all the ride for me was the NITRO, reason being is it so happen to be the longest of them all, it also goes slowly up about 150 feet one you reach the top it drop’s you about 100 feet at a speed of about 50mph, the way your position in this thing is very crazy, they have this thing slap to your legs, so when your actually going down you feel as if you actually falling out, just when you think it could not get any worst it makes another crazy turn taking in the direction of this big piece of metal from the look you swear your going to hit it head on, then suddenly you going down passing it about lets say 2feet.

Batman was my last ride of the day was not as scary even though it was a little but it was really quick.

After my first visit to six flags I would make only one recommendation.

GET THE FLASH PASS- If not you will be waiting on line for 2-3 hours.

I had a great time after all and I will be taking my two little sisters sometime soon.

I really hope you guys have as much fun as I did.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Longing for that special feeling of love:

I may appear to be happy to all but that’s just a front, I find that whenever I am around people I get really comfortable and they are normally drawn to me. But then I wonder if that’s the case why am I still single and why do I get lonely at times?

I have a great network of friends so there is never a dull moment, but there comes a time when I need that special one to spend time with. Just to take a walk in the park, or go play tennis, or even go biking. That void in my life at time makes me wonder about the bad thing’s I have done in the past. (Not that bad)

I wonder if I had lived in a small town where there are not so many options if I would have just settled for what is there. Does living in the City create a confusion of choice? Does it give you the free way to just give up due to the fact that you know someone will come along very soon? Or at least so you though, until your living in your apartment for 2 years with no one to share the fun with.

O well that’s just how I am feeing or was feeling until I got a text message a friend inviting me to GREAT ADVENTURES this weekend…..so now I am snapped out of that feeling.


Look me up on twitter@www.twitter.com/jackostain

Monday, June 22, 2009

Dear shoes, I Love You

(Just took a look at you and saw your name for the first time (ball band))


On the August the 25 2006, I was invited to an interview with no shoes to wear and only one suit at the time very broke. I had one last $20 bill which was more than likely given to me. So I though to myself what can I get for this in a shoe to wear to an interview. First thing that came to my mind was go get some food with that twenty and relax, there is no way you can get a shoe for twenty bucks.

This time I was living in Brooklyn, so I decided to take a walk on flat Bust Avenue to see what I could get on my feet. At the corner of Flatbush and Farragut was a store the name can’t recall at this time. I ran in saw that they had some really affordable shoes and I felt content with my twenty bucks, tried on a couple expensive ones first, don’t want to look too cheap now, at the same time I made sure to take up the one I liked and tried on as well.

The sale rep ask me which one I wanted I told him I cant make up my mind as these are two good looking shoes. He said well you have to choose and so did.

I said to him I think ill go with this one it fits perfect, love it!!
He smiled look an me like he wanted to say you cheap bastard.

So after my first time wearing this shoe, I totally fell in love with it, and until this day the 22 of June 22, 2009 it’s my favorite shoe. I have a very wade range of shoes raging from Steve madden, Kenneth Cole, dkny, Calvin Klein, to alfani, but you know what this shoe is still my favorite.

The heels have totally wormed out and the bottom at time feels like I am walking bear footed but I still love this shoe.

In the winter time, when I am skating on ice and my feet wet from your ventilated bottom, I still admire you.

When the doctor told me I need to change that shoe it may give me future back pain I totally ignore because I still love this shoe.

When my mom told me I was a cheap ass bastard and I smiled and said Warren Buffet is also, I remember the 20 bucks that got me these shoes.

When I can’t stand comfortable in the train and I am feeling pain, from the strain on one side of my leg I decided that its time you go. But I will miss this shoe.

I wonder why I feel so attached to this shoe. Is it the sacrifice I made to spend the last $20 bucks I had on this shoe to go to that interview? I don’t know I just love this shoe.

So I decide that I will give this shoe its royal burial this weekend and for that matter I will wear it all week

It’s only right that I don’t publish pictures’ of this shoe to as that’s one of its dying wish.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

(Single man know how to have fun My mini cruise vocation.

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Woke up 630 to catch my 8 o clock flight to Miami, in order to catch my cruise which will be sailing at 5pm

Garb in a pink dress short sleeve shirt and short white pans with white loafers. It’s raining like crazy in New York and I know people mush have seen me and wondering what the hell am I doing in white pants on a rainy day. If only they knew I was about to be sailing to the Caribbean namely the Bahamas and the coccay island.

As my friend drove me to the airport in my mind was that horrible flight I had on delta which had us stuck on the runway for about 5 hours, and all the fed us was the smallest bottled water I have ever seen along with some peanuts!

Then the air France flight that went missing, forgive me for being such a pessimist but every time I fly I think about the worst that could happen.

I got to the airport the stupid barcode thing they have that suppose to read your passport was for some reason not reading my passport.

Then I walk about 10 minutes thinking I could carry on my luggage , suddenly this lady told me to put it in this iron tray she has, which for me was a first, what it actually does is measure the size and determine if you need to check it in. So off course it was too big, so here I am walking back another 10 minutes to check my bag in, got to the machine only to be told I need to pay 15bucks. I wonder if it was just me or I haven't flown in a long time or maybe its just because I always travel light! If you’re actually fallowing you would have seen that this iron thing was put in place as a cash cow. For the air line, I travelled in January and I brought the same piece of luggage, I carried it on board paid no freaking baggage check fees!! Now an American airline is charging me baggage fees.
After about 2.5hours I was in Miami, the most shocking thing was how hot the freaking sun was, it felt as though the sun was forcing me to the grown.

Got in a so call yellow cab to the port, noticed that the meter is not working. Didn't pay much mind to that, I just had to pay whatever he said. Which was not all that bad just 24bucks? I had already did all my paper works online so got on the boat in less than five minutes after going through security.

This is my first time aboard a cruise ship. Its one of the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, the pools on the deck so dam sweet, the music is great the people are so friendly, so being that I live in New York where the sea water is black I was really happy to see clear sea water. I had to wait for my luggage a little so I went to the bar and ran into this guy I also saw on my flight.

This guy works for a TV station which ill not mention, he was suppose to be going to Venezuela for work, but instead he took his mistress on this cruise. While his wife and job is there thinking he is on his way to work. This guy however is very smart he made sure they didn't share the same seat. This young lady is very beautiful I have to admit, as she also was suppose to be at work but called out to be on the cruise, they both work for the same TV station.

A few hours pass and I went down to my room which was on the seventh deck, my luggage was finally here, got out my chunks and in the pool I went, while there in the pool I met this lovely young lady, she was also from New York. What was funny about this is that if we were ever in New York we would not have met, she actually lives in close proximity to where I live.

We set a sail about 5pm that evening, but this time I was having so much fun I didn’t even realize that the ship was moving, the alcohol on the boat is very cheap, so I got started very early there is bars like on every corner of the 11 deck, with waiter walker by ever 2 second to find out if you want anything. Its just great hospitality, don’t you think or plain as simple a great business idea?

5 Am at morning time we were in the Cocay Island,I woke up about 8o clock catch a bath and head to the 11 deck to have breakfast which was lovely. The view from the restaurant was so beautiful you could see the little Island just sitting there in the large body of water, palm tress blowing from side to side as the wind passes threw them.

I took up the event calendar for the day and already by a quick brose I knew what I was getting into, numero uno Parasailing! i have never done this before always wanted to try it, its cost $95 but what the hell I don’t care it’s a new adventure I always wanted to try and so did.
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The second thing I did was took a tour of the island on a skee bike, normally tours are very slow and boring but this was seem like we were running from the FED’S on speed boats in the high sees, it was very informative and fun. I herd they have very beautiful see life and great coral reef so my next even was snorkeling.



So I hurried over to the booth and rented my gears and went through the information session they had, normally you have to swim a while before you see anything eye catching this was not the case here, you could see the beautiful fishes before you even entered the water, with the water being crystal clear.
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So I got on my gears headed out and boy I was awed by the beauty, the fishes weren’t running away from you, they were just there swimming in schools, I went a couple feet out and there were sting rays and all sort of fishes I have never seen before. On this island was also a plane recks, it’s not been touch and this is also a beautiful site so see while snorkeling.

I snorkeled for about 6 hour’s before i got out the water , and that’s because I was starving, on the island they had a barbeque the cruise line that is, which all sort of food, so I went got some food and some more alcohol and back in the water, no I just cant have enough of this place.
But before I know it was time to head back to the boat, we had to set sale to The Bahamas at 7, “I don’t want to leave but I got to go right now”, was the song that popped in my head as they announced that the last boat was leaving back to the ship in about 10 minutes .

So I grad my towel headed back to the boat with sun burn all over my face neck and back, o just so you guys know I told my job I was going to the doctor on Friday and dentist on Monday and Tuesday I took a person day off. So here I was well burn up in the sun, thinking what the hell will I tell my manager when I sees me. lol

At 7 at night the boat set sail, there was in party in a club on deck 8 which was the deck my room was also on, I got dress headed over there and this party was surely popping, with all this crazy people and cheap booze you could not expect less. I called over waiter and got started on a couple shots of patron and I went in on the dance floor. We danced for about 7 hours’ the music went off about 7 am in the morning when we arrived in the Bahamas.

Paradise Island, well I have always heard about the Atlantis and I always wanted to visit and so here I was finally, the hotel cost $500 a night to stay but with all those activates on the ground you just can’t complain about the price, I went on a tour of the property saw all sort of sea life, went on a water slide that actually bring you through a shark tanks which was crazy but fun.
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Here I was on the final day thinking dam I am going back to work tomorrow, my days in paradise I finally over and I will be heading back to the concrete jungle in a few hours. Then the story I would have to make up for my manager.

10 am the next morning I was in the Miami area got a message from my manger that I need to call him, see I am still at sea but reality is kicking in, I ignored that message as I am at the dentist right at least so he though. In quick succession another one came in more authoritative I was set back as I can’t call by this time I am in the Miami Airport waiting on my flight, what the hell I mistakenly answered and he herd. Flight #D33 heading to New York now loading lol that would be nuts.


I had a great time…..If you have never been on a cruise start thinking about it, its very affordable and you really missing out.

I will be going on one more before the summer it out.
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o men i cant be bothered with these pictures they just not coming out good,just click on them to enlarge.sorry i am getting impatient i got a lot more i wanted to share but i have a power point presentation i have to write an present tmrw....i really hope you guys enjoy it.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Being single has its Good Sides TOO

For sometime now I have been reading a couple single hopeless blogs and it has somehow gotten to me, being that I am also single. To me it’s like they are allowing themselves to be swallowed up by singledom(just made that one up lol) that they don’t even get out to enjoy themselves anymore.

I see being single as an opportunity to meet new people and network, that which I have been doing a lot of lately. I am in no way saying that this cannot be done wile your in a relationship, as it’s also possible. I am however a firm believes that when you’re single you open up yourself more to new adventures and more opportunity due to the fact that you don’t have to be thinking about your partners feelings.


A relationship has its advantages and its disadvantages.


Benefits of being single-
1) you don't have to be committed
2) when all your other friends are mad at their man/woman you get to think how you luck do not have to deal with it.
3) Not having to worry about someone cheating on you behind your back

Disadvantages of being single-
1) Wishing that you had someone who like you for you
2) your friends bragging about how much they love their boyfriends/ girlfriends
3) Wishing that you had a boyfriend/ girlfriend so that you could go through the drama of it

Advantages of being in a relationship-
1) Having someone like you and just like you only
2) The feeling when you see them all the time
3) More focus on important things in life
than about it...

These however are left up to the individual, as for me at time’s I get really lonely, but that’s only for a quick second or two, as I always have someone ringing off my phone weather it be my mom, who’s number appears the most in my phone history, or some random friend. I have come to the conclusion that I have chosen to be single as I have numerous girls who are very much interested in me. At time they say I am afraid of commitment which I am afraid I have to disagree, what I am afraid of is not being committed, if ever in life at anytime you find that you’re not committed to at least one thing then something is terribly wrong. Weather it be your school work, your job, your marriage, your blog, relationship etc. Being committed is not my problem I have been committed to my career and its working out so far so good.

Most of my friends are married or in serious relationships, I do attend a lot of their family events, wedding, baby showers, birthday parties and also got to pick up a few at nights when they get kicked out for one reason or the other. I do get jealous at time and then I make sure I snap out of that feeling very quick, I don’t allow it to consume me. It looks all beautiful and great on the surface but I know the hardship they have in their relationships.

Being in a relationship for me is like running a business, a partnership not a sole proprietorship. Whenever it gets’s to the point where one party feels it’s a one man business that’s where the problem comes in. in relationships we have to be selfless and often we are too selfish as humans, "it take too baby" is a very famous slogan that all relationship should fallow, too often we see one person trying to do it all alone and that end’s up hurting the family. We see father trying to work long hours to make sure the family is financially stable and capable of enjoying a better life, when intern he is missing from the home for the upbringing of the kid’s, mom starts to get lonely and we all know where that ends.

It’s important to look at the career a person has and match it up with your qualities and see if it will work for you, before you jump in a relationship. Females get very giddy at times because a guy works a lot of money and has a career that the sounds good to report to her friends and family, but at the end of the day they are lonely in their marriage living in the lavish home all alone or with kid’s husband has to constantly be on the road. These are all thing I consider before going in a relationship it may not work for all but sure it will for me.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

I AM SORRY

To all my readers I have not written due to my inability to type. I am suffering from severe pain in my right arm my doctor said it was carpal tunnel syndrome.

What is carpal tunnel syndrome?


Carpus is a word derived from the Greek word "karpos" which means "wrist." The wrist is surrounded by a band of fibrous tissue that normally functions as a support for the joint. The tight space between this fibrous band and the wrist bone is called the carpal tunnel. The median nerve passes through the carpal tunnel to receive sensations from the thumb, index, and middle fingers of the hand. Any condition that causes swelling or a change in position of the tissue within the carpal tunnel can squeeze and irritate the median nerve. Irritation of the median nerve in this manner causes tingling and numbness of the thumb, index, and the middle fingers, a condition known as "carpal tunnel syndrome."



What conditions and diseases cause carpal tunnel syndrome?
For most patients, the cause of their carpal tunnel syndrome is unknown. Any condition that exerts pressure on the median nerve at the wrist can cause carpal tunnel syndrome. Common conditions that can lead to carpal tunnel syndrome include obesity, pregnancy, hypothyroidism, arthritis, diabetes, and trauma. Tendon inflammation resulting from repetitive work, such as uninterrupted typing, can also cause carpal tunnel symptoms. Carpal tunnel syndrome from repetitive maneuvers has been referred to as one of the repetitive stress injuries. Some rare diseases can cause deposition of abnormal substances in and around the carpal tunnel, leading to nerve irritation.

I will be going to the doctors this week for and X-ray so hopefully I will get some good news, if there is no good news, I will have to turn to vlogging.

See you soon…. I still read yours blog but cant comment as often as I once did, sorry about that also..

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Cheater got burn pt 2

I went home that night shut my room door so tight even put on the safety look just in case someone had a key, I cried the night away I could not sleep,what I could not even concentrate I was really torn up. So I decided to give her a call.

“Hey I am sorry” was the first words that came off her deceiving tongue

“Why did you do this to me?”
I asked, I really wanted to know what really happened. Or I should say how did this took place; I wanted to know everything, where, when, how many times, was he better than I was? All the crazy question you ask when you have been ran over by this truck called deceit.

Coming to the realization that the more information I got from her the more it hurts, I hung up my phone up, started asking god, why? Why god why? Why me. Then I remembered that I maybe have imposed this same pain on someone by not being honest.
With all these things running through my mind I herd a voice said forgive her and try to work it out.

I searched for the phone after tossing away after I hung up, found it, thought about it for sometime then gave in to that voice, when I called I could not put my words together, my lips were trembling so bad, my heart was racing and my mind was saying your a crazy son of a gun, what are you really doing.

But I did not listen to my mind my heart won that harm resell so I had to do what the heart said, and that I did, I told her I would forgave her and try to work this out, I really wanted to, I was really in love, if you can forgive someone who cheats that’s how you know you really in love, or that’s how you know or confirms that your truly stupid.

We decided to work on the relationahip but them a little friend visited me by the name of trust, and he asked me a few questions, do you think you can really do this? my heart said yes off course why my mind said there is no way you can stop being so dumb. Yet again I was confused, so I still went with my heart, and I told trust I could do this.

Two weeks went by and I started to think straight, as you know you can’t think too straight when your mind and heart is in a tight struggle, then I was revisited my trust, my mind was about to win this one, my heart was pounding as well but my mind was in demand of this victory.

I came to the realization that I could not trust her one bit, and once trust is gone all is lost, I mean all is really lost, I started getting the feeling of wanting to know where she were every min of the day, this was unlike me, it was a very uncomfortable feeling, I could no longer live like this, I had to get out of this.

So I planned my escape route, school was about to start and studding was a great way to get over this, but then I started thinking about that girl that gave me the kiss, o perfect maybe I could go out with her now, I did like her after all. But little did I know I was in for a rude awakening, when we got back on campus she was pregnant. The guy did not believe in having babies out of wed lock, something that I so happen to believe in also so they did it, they got married.

So here I was like a fish out of water, more confused with only my books to turn to, and that is exactly what I did, I picked up 2 more classes, from five classes to seven even though I had to pay for the seventh one, I did not care, I studied hard very hard maybe too much at times, but I can say it really propelled me to achieve and that I did. I graduated at the age of 20 with my Bachelors in Accounting. In three years instead of four.


It so happen that recently I stumbled on her online we spoke briefly, what I found out was that she still did not have a college degree, she is at the place she was five year ago when we broke up, then I think to myself god knows what’s best, because people who is stagnant is not my type. But I have learnt a valuable lesson from this,” Honesty is the best policy”

Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.M.K.Ash

I never cheated again……..and so happen to still be single…love to hate it at times

Friday, May 1, 2009

Cheater got burn

I am a prisoner of my emotions.

At a tender age I entered the dating scene, which was great at the time at least so I though. I ran around plying with young girls emotion, thinking I was the man. I am unstoppable and invincible, not knowing I am was creating a monster image and setting up myself for a very bad future.

As the years went by I started to imitate my older bothers’ and friends, down the same old path of unfaithfulness, and deceit, this I was very cleaver at doing. With no care in the world I walked on people’s feeling as if I had no remorse no care in this world. It was just the thing to do, every one was doing it and seem to be getting ahead well. Having one girl was just not the thing, being a one burner was a bad thing in the eyes of the guys I spent most of my life with going to school.

All this time I did saw one of my friend being a faithful Samaritan, very committed, and content with who is was seeing, had no reason to be like the dog I was, he was a little Christian boy, faith was well grounded. One day he said to me “why do you do the things you do, your hurting these girls and they can’t even see it or find it in their heart to leave”
I was taken aback by his statement.

For a few weeks I started questioning myself why, am I doing this? Why can’t I just settle for one? Would I like this to be done to my sisters or for that matter any female family member I have? The answer was right there, I started to think I need to start being honest with these young ladies. But hurting people's feeling this way was something I was not really good at doing, even though I was hurting it by not being honest.

Time went by and I found the strength to start telling some of these ladies that I am not really interested in them, and I am just not ready for a relationship, this did not went as smooth as I am saying it, but I tried my best in a space of two months I was down to zero.
I decided that I need to learn how to be by myself for sometime to think about the bad things I had done which I am really sorry for.

July 15 2001

I was a new person, going single for sometime and feeling good about it; I took my friend advice and went to church and start learning the bible, went and ask for forgiveness. This was not an easy thing for me, with my other friends asking what’s wrong, I have changed that’s what had happen. I started to focus more on my school work, even though I managed my time well when I was doing all those things.

One day I drove by friend house to give her some stuff, when I rang the door bell her aunt answered the door, we both looked each other eye to eye for a minute before we said a word, and she broke the silence and invited me in. As I sat down I felt the feeling coming over me, look up at her once more then I knew it, I was in love weird yes but some how I know she was the one, she was feeling the same feeling I was feeling, I was finally introduce to her by my friend from that moment we started getting to know each other.

We started going out, I was so in love ,it felt so good, this is what I was missing while I was messing with people I had no feeling for, and the feeling was great I was in heaven for the first time in my life. She was very beautiful nice eyes nice lips a voice that spoke directly to my heart, I knew this was it, and I had stop playing games right in time.

It was time for me to go away to college, I honestly would rather go to a local college so I could see her more often but that was not going to happen, I went away to school, in my first semester I met a young lady who so happen to share the birth date as I do, she also was very beautiful temptation # one, her mom Chinese her dad was black. To be totally honest we had a lot in common.

One day at the end of my marketing class I was packing up my books talking to my friend, who was sitting next to me, suddenly I felt my head pulled back and in a flash her soft lips were all over mines, I was shocked, I did not know what to do but kiss back which I did and I felt good. As I watch her walk out the door I was still in shock I had an idea that she liked me but not enough to steal a kiss, my friend asked, what the hell was that about? my reaction was I have no clue! one thing I knew she could kiss.
Seriously confused I start thinking about my girl, I felt guilty even though I was not the one who started this, I did not know what to do or how to react the next time I saw this young lady. The next time we had class together we both acted as if it was the first time we ever seen each other, yes this was going great, at least so I though, one day she wanted to talk I was interested to hear what she had to say.

As we walked to the village to talk ,I was very nervous for some reason, we got there sat on the park bench, she held my hand and said Jermaine I really like you, we have a lot in common and I could not help that you did not make the first move so that’s why I kissed you that evening. I was very nervous didn't know what to say, starting looking up in the sky like god was going to give me an answer for this dilemma.

I can’t do this, was my first word, I could see her withdrawal as her skin got really red, eyes filled with water, I told her I had a girl, then it all fell down she started crying I could not help it I started crying also, she was asking me to leave my girl for her, that I could not do even though I liked her. I had already made a commitment to love one person an that was my current girl friend.As I watch her walked away my heart was pounding, suddenly my friend broke the corner I wipe my eyes quickly and shook my self out of that, I could not allow my friend to see my crying, I would have to explain to him what was going on and when it come to things like that I was very secretive.

Before I knew it, it was the end of the semester and it was time to put our stuff in storage, I was exited to get home to see my girl, got home about 9pm went to see my girl, but for some reason she was acting brand new, I asked her what was wrong she did not want to talk about it, I persisted and finally she gave in.
Jermaine I am sorry but I slept with my x Boyfriend, I could not even speak I was in shock, I was speechless for about 5 minutes, my head started poundings with a constant headache, I was so shock I could not even allow myself to cry, the lady I was saving my self for cheated on me, instantly my college crush came in mind. Why didn’t I fallow her and leave this girl I would not have been in this situation.was this pay back for all the bad i had done, one thing i was sure of was this i now know how those young lady felt

To be continued……….


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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

THis is how the Swine Flu started

smine flu



This is not a serious post, but the way the media is making this story out to be i am even afraid of taking the train, which i so have to do to get to work.
So this is my way of making the subject a little bit lighter. and funny

You could look me up on Twitter@ Jackostain----see you there

Monday, April 27, 2009

HEART BREAK

Woke up Saturday morning went to the Bronx pick my friend and headed to Philadelphia to the University of Pennsylvania to see the Penn Relays. On my way there It so happened that me and another car of friend were racing, being I always have to show who the boss is when it comes to driving. Suddenly my Blackberry was flashing a Greenish light meaning my batter was about to die leaving me with no navigation as I use my phones navigations.

All this time I was consumed by driving and trying to outrun my other friend, I did not take the time to notice the one sitting next to me in the passenger seat. With the weather been so nice I did not have the time to be thinking about nothing but enjoying it, until that enjoyment turn into touchier, as we made it to the New Jersey Turnpike we were greeted to a long lime of traffic, people even getting our their cars and chilling on the highway.

I was really upset due to the fact that we were already late, and that did not help with the weather being 90 degrees, not even the Air Conditioner could help, we were being baked on the highway for about two hours when my impatience kicked in and I gave the other a car a call and say lets take a chance and run the soft shoulders, hoping that we don’t get caught, as you may know that would have been a hell of a fine.

We drove on the side for about 20 minutes, then we finally could see the accident, it was a Tractor trailer turned over blocking the whole high way. So here we are at another halt then my friend decided to start talking.

He said Jacko as every one of my friends call me, I have a big problem man, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t even focus at work. Let’s just call him F and I J.

J “o yeah, man you crazy”
F “I am serious right now” with a very sort tone!!
J “so what’s the cause of this?
F “my wife dumped me”
J “what!! This is crazy, what did you do?
F “got laid off for the past two months, that’s the only thing I did, she say I can’t take her out, she no longer has feelings for me, and she just can’t do this no more.

By this time my mouth was wide open astound by every word that he spoke, I really was in disbelief. I always told this guy he was stupid, for allow this lady to take all his money away when he got paid, now that’s the first thing that came to mind when he told me, I was thinking she ran him broke and dump him like a used sanitary napkin.

J “ I am really sorry to hear this F, I am really surprised, I would not imagine this happening, when she was out of a job for like four months, I know you took good care of her, we even trouble you about how you allow her to spend your money for you.

F “well I guess I learn the hard way”

J “hey such is life”

F “ one thing I know though, this can never happen to me ever again, I will never fall in love this deep with another woman, I will never treat them so nice ever again.

On April the 25 another monster/dush bag/whatever you ladies call it, was born, the ever loving and committed friend of mines was throwing in the towel on love, and being affection. This allowed me to come to this conclusion.

Men one once-females love over and over.

From personal experience I can say that I only loved once in my life, when my girlfriend at the time cheated because I went away to college and she could not take it no more, I was born into the monster I am today. Imagine being on campus passing up a lot of free pussy of you will just to be totally committed, it’s not an easy thing but I did it. When I got home on my break and she broke the news to me I was devastated, I cried, my head pounded like someone was beating it with an hammer, I was confused as to why she would do this to me, listen I cried for like 2 weeks.

This is 6 years ago and I am yet to love again, I have spoken to a lot of guys and they shared similar stories, after listening to all the stories over the years, I came to a conclusion that man love deeper that a woman does. If that’s not true then men sure don’t know how to move on with their lives emotionally. Whenever we get burn we stay burn, while on the other hand when I woman get hurt she get up brush her self off and do it all over again. Men move on they sure do, but will they love that deep, my assumption is NO they will not.

Sunday April 26, 2009

I went by F family’s house to see how he was doing, as his wife also kicked him out their house, I saw him smoking, to my self I was like that’s quite weird, this guys don’t smoke, when he see be coming he put it out as he know I cant respire around smoke especially cigarette. I did not question his action.

F “you got your car?
J ‘I sure do, what’s up now?
F “let’s take a drive by the pier”
J “ok no problem”

So here we are at the pier, my friend starts to cry, I not knowing what to do, said to him man cut that bull crap, what do you need a hug, if that I am sorry I cant give that to you.

F “J I went to this girl house last night and saw a car with a Hawaii”

J “ listen man I think your going crazy, how the hell cant someone drive from Hawaii to New York, isn’t that an island?

F “Hawaii or Ohio same dam thing, she told me a few months ago that her friend was coming by to look for her, so I was son a stake out at her house until about 5am to see is that guy was coming out our room, I called her like a million times and she did not pick up.

J “ yo you fucking crazy man, what the hell you doing, what Stake out!!, are you the fucking FBI or some shit.

F “you don’t understand, I love that woman.

J “so to brake it to you but she don’t love you, right now she is kicking it when another man”

The look he gave me tell me how angry he was at those words, but I had to say it to him, I know he is hurting, but he was doing some crazy things being at the ladies house that hour of the morning just looking at the house, I said to myself lord please don’t let me fall in a familiar position because I see how much it hurts. To find out your wife dump you today and have a next men in your bed tomorrow.

I know I will have to sit and listen to my friend today, and encourage him to get himself together. But one thing I can’t teach him and its how to trust.


I hate sad stories so here is something to make you laugh

Thursday, April 16, 2009

SEXTING




These days the disturbing new trend in teenage flirting is sending nude or semi-nude photos from cell phone to cell phone: instead of "texting," they call it called "sexting."
While the X-rated offerings are usually intended just for a boyfriend or girlfriend, the photos often wind up being shared.
"It's very dangerous,” Once it's on a cell phone, that cell phone can be put on the Internet where everyone in the world can get access to that juvenile picture. You don't realize what you are doing until it's already done.

Philadelphia defense attorney who by his reckoning has handled at least 80 child pornography cases, said the prosecution of minors for photos they took themselves runs counter to the purpose of both state and federal child pornography laws: Preventing the sexual abuse of children by “dirty old men in raincoats.”
“It’s clearly overkill,” he said. “… The letter of the law seems to have been violated, but this is not the type of defendant that the legislature envisioned” in passing the statute.
Artur said that because there is no mandatory minimum sentence under Pennsylvania’s child pornography law, unlike the federal statute, the students would not necessarily be incarcerated if they are found guilty. But he noted that convictions would have "serious, serious implications," including forcing them having to register as sexual offenders for at least 10 years.

This is very serious in my view, Imagine a 15 year old kid registering as a sex offender for 1 years that will take them to the age of 25 before they would be able to attend college or even be considered for certain types of jobs.

In my view I think this whole matter should be dealt with my parent and not the federal or state governments, yes its wrong be they are only young teenagers and they did not do these thing for and more reason than to appeal to their little boy/girlfriend .

Been a registered sex offender for sending a picture to your significant other, come on now. If you take into consideration the actions of real sex offenders and slap these kids with the same charges it’s just not right.

Again I will say teenager you’re not right for doing it, if you’re reading this think twice before you make such mistakes.

You know what I am fucking pissed at, is that we can’t have conversation that stays between the person peaking. No Uncle Sam need to hear what we talking about, what happen to personal liberty. We can’t live a private life; I got through the train station you have machine scanning me from head to toe.

Please share your views on this situation readers let me know what you all are thinking.

CHECK OUT MY FIRST TRY AT THIS MOVIE MAKING THING






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Monday, April 13, 2009

White Woman's Opinion of Black Women





Interesting, had to share it
Hope that you will enjoy it!!
Have a blessed day!!

White Woman's Opinion of Black Women


White women's opinion of black women & a brother's response

Please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this black man..

Enjoy.

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men.. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and
more) !!!

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged,
whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen,
the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...

I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl,
Somewhere in VA

RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta , Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management.. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my
precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in
my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion,
a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Dan son, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the black woman
that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty
is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.


No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

The reason i wanted to share this with you guys is that, i love to see a ignorant person put in their place weather it be about race/religion/politics/for that matter any subject area.




These views are not entirely shared by The Views of Jermaine Jackson, i am an equal opportunity type of guy.
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