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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Cheater got burn pt 2

I went home that night shut my room door so tight even put on the safety look just in case someone had a key, I cried the night away I could not sleep,what I could not even concentrate I was really torn up. So I decided to give her a call.

“Hey I am sorry” was the first words that came off her deceiving tongue

“Why did you do this to me?”
I asked, I really wanted to know what really happened. Or I should say how did this took place; I wanted to know everything, where, when, how many times, was he better than I was? All the crazy question you ask when you have been ran over by this truck called deceit.

Coming to the realization that the more information I got from her the more it hurts, I hung up my phone up, started asking god, why? Why god why? Why me. Then I remembered that I maybe have imposed this same pain on someone by not being honest.
With all these things running through my mind I herd a voice said forgive her and try to work it out.

I searched for the phone after tossing away after I hung up, found it, thought about it for sometime then gave in to that voice, when I called I could not put my words together, my lips were trembling so bad, my heart was racing and my mind was saying your a crazy son of a gun, what are you really doing.

But I did not listen to my mind my heart won that harm resell so I had to do what the heart said, and that I did, I told her I would forgave her and try to work this out, I really wanted to, I was really in love, if you can forgive someone who cheats that’s how you know you really in love, or that’s how you know or confirms that your truly stupid.

We decided to work on the relationahip but them a little friend visited me by the name of trust, and he asked me a few questions, do you think you can really do this? my heart said yes off course why my mind said there is no way you can stop being so dumb. Yet again I was confused, so I still went with my heart, and I told trust I could do this.

Two weeks went by and I started to think straight, as you know you can’t think too straight when your mind and heart is in a tight struggle, then I was revisited my trust, my mind was about to win this one, my heart was pounding as well but my mind was in demand of this victory.

I came to the realization that I could not trust her one bit, and once trust is gone all is lost, I mean all is really lost, I started getting the feeling of wanting to know where she were every min of the day, this was unlike me, it was a very uncomfortable feeling, I could no longer live like this, I had to get out of this.

So I planned my escape route, school was about to start and studding was a great way to get over this, but then I started thinking about that girl that gave me the kiss, o perfect maybe I could go out with her now, I did like her after all. But little did I know I was in for a rude awakening, when we got back on campus she was pregnant. The guy did not believe in having babies out of wed lock, something that I so happen to believe in also so they did it, they got married.

So here I was like a fish out of water, more confused with only my books to turn to, and that is exactly what I did, I picked up 2 more classes, from five classes to seven even though I had to pay for the seventh one, I did not care, I studied hard very hard maybe too much at times, but I can say it really propelled me to achieve and that I did. I graduated at the age of 20 with my Bachelors in Accounting. In three years instead of four.

It so happen that recently I stumbled on her online we spoke briefly, what I found out was that she still did not have a college degree, she is at the place she was five year ago when we broke up, then I think to myself god knows what’s best, because people who is stagnant is not my type. But I have learnt a valuable lesson from this,” Honesty is the best policy”

Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.M.K.Ash

I never cheated again……..and so happen to still be single…love to hate it at times