When men have affairs, they tend to be motivated by sex — new sex, more sex, different sex. Women cheat for many reasons: companionship, romance, more security, and, of course, sex. But are men’s motivations really that simple? No. Even for men, cheating is far more complex.
Studies show most men who cheat want to experiment sexually and experience the rush associated with “new sex.” This is their way of prolonging indefinitely the early and intoxicating phase of infatuation in a relationship. But men also have affairs to either avoid intimacy, recover their lost youth, or escape an unhappy marriage.
Men who fear intimacy will have affairs to maintain power in their relationships. If a man doesn't commit to his lover, he controls his level of vulnerability. Some men cheat in fact to avoid any real intimacy. Intimacy scares them, so they distance themselves from their wives by cheating on them and they don’t get emotionally involved with their lovers. This way they never have to trust their partners or rely on them. This kind of man may also fear conflict.
Then there are men who will strike up an affair when they start to feel the fear and loss that comes with aging. They realize they are no longer young and invulnerable, so they have an affair to deny that they are getting old. Finding someone who is “young and new,” makes them feel more youthful.
Biologists believe men cheat by the Darwinian instinct to spread their genetic seed to more mates (whereas women would one mate to get protection and support). However, since more women are cheating, this suggests that they felt societal pressure in the past to suppress their sexual desires. There also may be another reason men are more likely to stray: environment. Psychologically speaking, men who cheat are often the child of an adulterer. They are repeating behavior that they know and looking to correct that feeling that no one ever loved only them.
Why do women cheat? The simple answer is because they hurt. They have pain related to loneliness, the rejection and betrayal of a cheating spouse, an unexciting and unsatisfactory relationship, or feeling poorly about themselves.
Why do women cheat? Because of emotional needs not met and the hurt that accompanies this lack. Is it sometimes just physical lust? Occasionally, but I do not see much of this.
Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs or are susceptible to advances. Women who are in an unsatisfactory relationship may feel even lonelier than if they were still single. A partner who is over involved with his work or hobby may severely limit the attention and admiration he gives to his mate.
She then feels unattractive, uncared for, and hopeless about getting her needs met. While this is a reason for working harder on the relationship, not seeking relief from another man, it is easy to understand the pain that makes the whole thing possible.
And then there is Revenge. I am seeing much more of this as a motive in recent years. Today's woman is not willing to just sit still and "take it." Unfortunately, the "eye for an eye" approach has become more acceptable and a woman who feels betrayed and rejected may well return the favor.
Sometimes a woman needs only to hold a suspicion that her partner is cheating to be susceptible. She may have painful memories from other, earlier relationships in her life, and she may have an expectation of being hurt in this one, as well. This is where a "self fulfilling prophecy" can take over and create pain for everyone.
One reason for a woman's affair is similar to one for men: boredom. An unsatisfying, dull, and predictable relationship that is not growing in depth can make the excitement of a new relationship very attractive.
The affair is not only exciting due to the new person involved, but also to the whole experience of sneaking around and hiding it. This can be a huge adrenaline rush. It's not saying it too strongly to say that it can even be mildly addictive. Women who have multiple affairs may be experiencing this kind of stimulus.
For I have come to the conclusion base on my research that men is the real reason women cheat. It’s this justifiable no but they still do it, so I am wondering why is it that males play such big part in the breakdown of relationships.
I have also realized that when a male cheat its not as bad as when a females cheat as their reason vary and are more emotionally driven that male is. Males often cheat for sex and the rush of a new and exciting thing. While on the other hand females tend to cheat for emotional satisfaction which is more severe than cheating for sex in my view. Two bad never makes it right so for women to cheat because the male cheat it really immature and childish (don’t kill me for saying that lol) I understand your hurting I am in no way saying the male is right to cheat, but going out and cheating on him does not mean it better. The other thing that women do is that they cheat on makes with someone close to home, your friend your brother, its usually someone you know which tend to hurt even more. With that said I would also conclude that females are better at doing it that we are.
Have you been cheated on? Were you wiling to forgive your partner and continue with the relationship? Did It work out in the long run?
I have been cheated on and I tried to forgive but for nothing it could not work, I lost trust and once that was out the door it was like trying to push water up an hill without a pump.
