1. Eliminate or Reduce Television Time.
Quit watching so much television. The average person will watch between four and five hours of television a day. Television can be very educational and a fun escape to enjoy in our leisure time. The problem with television is the majority of what we watch is mentally unhealthy. Most shows involve all sorts of unhealthy thoughts and actions.
Watching a police drama may be a nice escape but seeing someone shot or killed will have an impact on your mind. Of course you don’t need to eliminate television completely, but I would reduce it down to an hour or an hour and a half a day. Pick what you watch carefully and try to find shows that will educate and uplift you.
2. Stop Reading/Watching the news.
Let’s face it most of the news you will hear is negative. What’s worse is the news tends to get sensationalized, making things sound worse than they really are. It’s like feeding your mind a diet of nothing but negativity. Rarely is there a positive or uplifting story in the news.
Now you may be asking yourself, “If I stop watching the news how will I know what’s happening?” This is one small possible side effect, but you will be able to find the news from other sources. You will hear the news from friends, family, co-workers or even twitter. Just trust that anything important will make it’s way to you.
3. Motivational Materials.
Feed your mind a regular diet of positive thoughts and motivational materials. To change your self-esteem you’ll want to find replacements for all the negative thoughts you want to eliminate. There’s no better way to do this than finding the time to listen, read, or watch motivational material. There is an amazing amount of motivational material available and if you don’t like one speaker or trainer you’ll find it easy to replace them with someone you do.
Spending at least 15 minutes a day feeding your mind with positive thoughts will have a tremendous impact on your self-esteem. One of the best places to learn is in your car or while exercising. Listening to motivational programs or audio books while driving or exercising is a great way to feed your mind with positive material.
4. Use Visualization.
Visualization is “seeing something before it happens.” You need to mentally picture yourself successfully completing business or personal goals. By visualizing success we can usually increase the chance that it will happen. Get rid of the negative and self-defeating thoughts before you visualize a successful outcome. This will allow you to develop a clear image of what needs to be done.
Try to set aside just 5 minutes a day to practice visualization. If your goal is to lose weight and run a marathon you can close your eyes and see your self running the last kilometre of your marathon. Picture all the people cheering you on. See the finish line up ahead. Think of the thoughts you would tell yourself after achieving such a powerful goal. Live that moment in your mind and you’ll leave your 5 minute visualization feeling extremely good about yourself.
5. Goal Setting.
Goal setting is another fantastic way to build your self-esteem, as long as your goals are achievable. Setting and achieving small daily goals can help us build momentum and self-esteem. Goal setting is a huge subject and something I plan to cover in further detail on YouQuoted.com.
Here are some basics:
1. Set a goal that if you put your mind to it you know you can achieve.
2. Break your goal down to small manageable tasks.
3. Accomplish one of these tasks every day. These daily tasks should be easy to achieve and should fit into your day. For instance, if you have a goal to lose 10 pounds within the next 3 months you may have a daily goal to exercise for 30 minutes.
By achieving this daily goal and not quitting you will gradually build your believe in your abilities. But here’s a warning… If you start to miss your daily goals this can have exactly the opposite effect on your self-esteem. Make sure your daily goals are things that you can do and make sure you stick with them.
6. Change your self-talk.
Self-talk is that little voice in your head that is constantly defining what things mean for you. It’s that non-stop little voice that never quits. This is the voice that is contributing to your lack of self-esteem. Changing your self-talk is not going to be easy. It will be a life long battle to change your negative thoughts into positive, productive thoughts.
Here’s how to change your self-talk.
1. Challenge your self-talk by asking, “Is that true?” Asking the simple question, “Is that true?” will often eliminate your negative thought.
If you are overweight you may call yourself, “Fat.” When you ask, “Is it true?” You may say yes I am “Fat” right now. To answer the question positively you would say, “Yes, I am overweight right now and I’ve made the decision to change this by exercising daily and eating right. I love myself at any weight and I will get better each and every day.”
2. Question what you are saying. A great way to do this is to ask yourself, “Why am I thinking this about myself right now?” This will help you clarify what is bothering you.
As in our previous example if you called yourself “Fat” and you question why you are thinking this right now, it will help you realize what was bothering you. It may be that you just ate a bag of potato chips and you’re on a diet. It may be that you just saw someone much thinner than you and you’re jealous.
3. Replace the thought. Now we want to replace the thought with a more productive thought. “Right now I’ve been thinking I’m (Your Thought) but the truth is I’m (Your Replacement Thought).”
In the example of calling yourself “Fat” you would replace the thought. “Right now I’m thinking that I’m fat, but the truth is I ate potato chips and that was a mistake. I will now get back on track with my goal.”
7. Choose carefully what you believe.
On a daily basis we may hear many many different things about ourselves from others.
• The boss may say “Good job on that report.”
• Your spouse may say, “Great dinner.”
• Your child may say “I hate you.”
• A co-worker may say “Do you even know what you are doing.”
All of these things can happen each and every day. It’s up to you to choose what you believe. Most people with low self-esteem will choose to focus on the negative things they hear about themselves and shrug off the good things they hear.
When someone pays you a compliment do you believe it? Most people do not. When you hear something negative about yourself do you believe it? Most people tend to take in most negative things that are said about them. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we choose to focus on the negative and minimize the positive? If you already have low self-esteem it’s much easier to believe the negative said about you, because you’re already thinking negative thoughts about yourself.
The best way to overcome this is to use the questioning technique to change our self talk.
1. Ask yourself, “Is it true?”
If a co-worker says, “Do you even know what you are doing.” Ask yourself is it true. In some cases it may be true. “Yes, I did not know everything I was doing on this report.”
2. Then question what has been said, “Why are they saying this about me?”
Now ask why they are saying this about you. It may be because they are feeling pressured and your small mistake is going to make extra work for them. It may be because they have their own issues with self-esteem and feel it necessary to attack others when they make a mistake. Try to find a reason for why they are saying this about you.
3. Replace the thought, “Yes, I made a mistake with (What your were criticized about) but the truth is I (Your replacement thought).
Now that you know the truth find a replacement thought that you want to have replayed in your subconscious mind. “Yes, I did not know everything about that report. However, I did a great job given my experience and I learned how to do it better next time.”
8. Stop making up stories about what people think about you.
How do you know if someone really likes you? The truth is you really will never know whether they truly like you or not. For some this may be bad news, because being liked by everyone is a high priority. You might even classify yourself as a people pleaser. But the reality is some people will like you and some will not. If they like you, that’s great. If they don’t like you that’s fine too. Just don’t get into the trap of trying to guess who likes you and who doesn’t. It really doesn’t matter and it can drive you nuts.
One of the best ways to overcome this comes from a buddhist philosophy called, “The Nobel Eightfold Path.” Without describing this in detail it talks about how you should live your life as a way to end suffering. “The Nobel Eightfold Path,” is comprised of Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right mindfulness, Right concentration. Even without describing each of these in detail you should have a good idea of this philosophy.
If you live your life in a way that doesn’t harm others you should not worry about what others think. Knowing that you’re living the best life you can is often enough to help you overcome the fear of what others think about you. If you know you are doing the best you can then you can be detached of the thoughts of others.
However, if you are talking about people behind their backs. If you are cheating someone of something. If you are harsh to others. Then you will constantly be worried about what is being said about you. The way to cure this is to start living your best life.
9. Stop beating yourself up.
Guess what? You are going to make mistakes before you die. Yep, that’s the honest truth. You are going to screw up and have a day where you just want to throw your head under the covers and hide from the world. You’re going to get tongue tied in an important meeting and you’ll probably trip a few times in front of people. Knowing that these things are probably going to happen can stop you from beating yourself up.
You are a human being and we make mistakes. We do dumb things sometimes. Even the best drivers get in car accidents. So when life hands you an embarrassing moment don’t use it as an excuse to beat yourself up. Try to laugh it off as one of those little embarrassing moments that just happen from time to time.
If you catch yourself beating yourself up, stop it immediately and replace that thought. “I made another mistake, no big deal. I will learn from this.” Find a thought that works for you and make sure you put and end to this immediately. This has a terrible effect on our self-esteem.
10. Find three positive things you did each day.
This is a great exercise that will force you look for the positive in yourself. At first this little exercise may be very difficult. You may come to the end of your day and find yourself focusing on the negative stuff you did instead of the positive. Force yourself to shift your mind to find just three things you did well.
These could be simple things.
• You let someone in your lane when driving.
• You called a family member and told them you loved them.
• You found time to read some motivational material.
• You took a co-worker out to lunch.
Of course you can also use big accomplishments.
• Winning an award.
• Buying a new house.
• Getting positive feedback from a presentation.
The trick is to find just three things you did well each and everyday.
Don’t limit yourself to just three items. If you feel you can find more than three things you did well, then write those down as well. You’re building your self-esteem everyday with this habit. It’s amazing what happens between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind when your write down positive thoughts.
11. Practice affirmations continually.
One of the best affirmations you can use came from Brian Tracy. He suggests saying “I like myself” repeatedly in your mind. The effect of this simple affirmation is astounding. Try is now, say, “I like myself,” 20 times in your mind. Better yet, go to your bathroom mirror and say it out loud as you stare into your eyes. Give it a try.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative just repeat, “I like myself,” to yourself as many times as you feel is appropriate. The more the better. It may sound foreign to most and if you have low self-esteem you may even get emotional saying this. The emotion comes from finding the truth. Realizing that you truly do love yourself.
Of course there are many wonderful affirmations you can add to your life that will also help your self-esteem. Here’s just a few:
• “I can do anything I set my mind to!”
• “I am a great communicator!”
• “When I talk people listen!”
• “People like me!”
• “I am a great person!”
• “Everyday in every way I get better and better!”
Repeating affirmations alone is often not enough. You should also try to feel the affirmation in your body as you say it. Pump your fist as you say it. Better yet, yell out an enthusiastic “YES,” at the end of an affirmation. The more energy you bring to an affirmation the better the results.
A word of warning
Although we don’t want to beat ourselves up. We do want to be realistic about what’s happening in our lives. That doesn’t mean making things worse then they are, but don’t make them better than they are either. Tell yourself the truth about everything. If you’re overweight don’t look in the mirror and call yourself thin, instead decide if you are comfortable with where you are or not. If you’re not comfortable then set a goal to make this change.
The best definition of success I’ve ever heard came from the late Earl Nightingale who said, “Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile goal.” This means that as long as you are moving towards your goal you are successful. If your goal is to lose weight and you exercised today and you ate the appropriate amount and type of food today then… YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL. Make sure you feel that way about yourself and enjoy the process.
Self esteem is a huge subject and something that each of us should work on in our lives on a daily basis. It leads to a much more enjoyable life and is the cornerstone of happiness. Choose to work on your self-esteem and watch the quality of your life improve.
http://www.youquoted.com/(Source)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Missing In Action
M>I>A
I know I have been away for a really long time, it’s as if I went on vocation and my life begun. I have been working on a business deal with a partner that has totally taken over my life. But due to the fact that I am a strong believer that there is no way you could work a 9-5 and live comfortable so I keep pressing on. I have tons of blog in my blackberry that I have written just don’t have the time to post them. But I feel I owe the people who care or those who just read the crazy crap I write an explanation as to why I am M.I.A .
While on my vocation I met this lovely young lady who I think might be the one, we hardly talk due to the fact that I am so focused on this project, really want to hit the ground running but it takes a lot of time and money. So I would say love is not on the top of my list, I need to achieve my childhood dream of owning my business here in NYC.
My social life has been non-existent mainly for the same reason. But when I feel down because of such, I remember what my mom always told me, work hard so you could play harder, hopefully that holds through. My family they have been really supportive of my idea in everyway possible and that I am grateful of.
Education- I have decided to put this on hold for sometime even though I think I could manage both, the real reason I did this was due to the fact that I am somewhat not sure if exactly which way I want to take my carrier. Its only two areas of interest I have which is Investment Banking and or continuing on the Accounting field. Which would be either doing the CPA.or never go public? Once upon a time all I wanted to do was go public but I have taken a second look on the amount of hours they contract you to, and the work load. You’re rewarded accordingly but where the conflict comes in is that you’re not allowed to do another job, as they need your total attention at the job at hand.
This is the reason why the Masters in Investment Banking is the one that is still standing as my favorite; however I am no rush I want to make the best decision possible.
If you guys have any ideas, please feel free to share them with me.
I know I have been away for a really long time, it’s as if I went on vocation and my life begun. I have been working on a business deal with a partner that has totally taken over my life. But due to the fact that I am a strong believer that there is no way you could work a 9-5 and live comfortable so I keep pressing on. I have tons of blog in my blackberry that I have written just don’t have the time to post them. But I feel I owe the people who care or those who just read the crazy crap I write an explanation as to why I am M.I.A .
While on my vocation I met this lovely young lady who I think might be the one, we hardly talk due to the fact that I am so focused on this project, really want to hit the ground running but it takes a lot of time and money. So I would say love is not on the top of my list, I need to achieve my childhood dream of owning my business here in NYC.
My social life has been non-existent mainly for the same reason. But when I feel down because of such, I remember what my mom always told me, work hard so you could play harder, hopefully that holds through. My family they have been really supportive of my idea in everyway possible and that I am grateful of.
Education- I have decided to put this on hold for sometime even though I think I could manage both, the real reason I did this was due to the fact that I am somewhat not sure if exactly which way I want to take my carrier. Its only two areas of interest I have which is Investment Banking and or continuing on the Accounting field. Which would be either doing the CPA.or never go public? Once upon a time all I wanted to do was go public but I have taken a second look on the amount of hours they contract you to, and the work load. You’re rewarded accordingly but where the conflict comes in is that you’re not allowed to do another job, as they need your total attention at the job at hand.
This is the reason why the Masters in Investment Banking is the one that is still standing as my favorite; however I am no rush I want to make the best decision possible.
If you guys have any ideas, please feel free to share them with me.
Friday, July 31, 2009
I will miss you guys.
I will miss you guys.
Just a quick note I leave for vocation Saturday morning, I highly doubt that I will write a post when I am away, but one thing you guys could look out for one when I get back, their will lots of pictures.
Have a great weekend.
I will see you guys in two weeks. fallow me on twitter http://twitter.com/jackostain
Just a quick note I leave for vocation Saturday morning, I highly doubt that I will write a post when I am away, but one thing you guys could look out for one when I get back, their will lots of pictures.
Have a great weekend.
I will see you guys in two weeks. fallow me on twitter http://twitter.com/jackostain
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
My admiration for women!
Would it be fair to say that women are the corner stone of our society and our existence? Many may disagree with this statement but I for one feel very strong about it. My inspiration to write about this after all came to me from the lady next door.
One morning as I got up out my bed and got ready for work, I started thinking about my neighbor, she is very beautiful, seem smart and educated. But all of this was my assumption as we never exchanged words, typical New York style neighbors, we pass you go and come and never find it cool enough to say hello as everyone is always about their own business. But something about this lady a little more than that, she has the most beautiful smile ever, the shape of her body is one that any men would crave. But this was not what got me interested in this young lady.
One day we both got out our apartments together and I could tell it was very awkward for her as it was for me, as its very hard not to look over at the person standing right next to you, however we both got out that and looked at each other at the same time. So here we were steering each other in the eyes. Until she suddenly broke the ice and said something to the effect of “hey! All this time I didn’t know you lived right next to me”
From this moment on we started smiling at each other, saying hello here and there, whenever it’s convenient. But all of a sudden we started seeing each other more often, so our relation started feeling a little less weird. So at this point I started taking notice of her.
I knew she also worked in the city as we would get on the train together in the morning times and she usually gets off before I do. But all of this was not what keep me intrigued all this time.
Every evening or most evening when I am back home form work I would see this lady taking the kids home, taking them to the park, taking our her laundry to get it done. So I started to wonder if her husband ever did any work at all. How does she get by doing all this work on a daily basis? After working for 8-10 hours a day I know I am completely exhausted, I don’t want to see anyone or anything but my bed. No but this lady has three kids and a husband to tend to after working the same amount or more hours than I do.
So in essence she works 3 jobs, the 9-5 then the other taking care of the kids plus the one taking care of her business in the bedroom. How can I not admire women? I know for sure she is not the only one doing this, I know for sure that this is not affixed to one race as I see women of all races doing this day in day out. It’s as if they just know they have to do it and they have no choice. But in essence they do have a choice; they could have run away, they could have given up the kids for adoption. But they did not; they are sticking it out day after day. So whey then should we not treat woman as equal as men, when in essence they actually do a whole lot more in society that men actually do. Not saying that you don’t have men that do all of the above but the overwhelming majority is women.
I could not close this blog without mentioning my mom and my aunt, who for most part was the most influential in my upbringing. My aunt did not have kids of her own so I was her son for the most part I enjoyed all the things she would buy me, but that’s only if I performed well in school. This was my motivation for the formative years of my life. It was either perform well and get gifts or not and get noting. Let’s just say I was a sucker for sweets so I made sure I performed well for the most part. While my aunt was taking care of me, my mom was there starting her business. At the time my aunts husband was the loan officer at the bank so he helped my mom got the small business loan she needed to get started; all this was fine and dandy. My mom had all the plans laid out in the world how she would use this money and be able to repay the loan and still come out at a profit.
So one day she called and said she got the loan now she doesn’t have a clue what to do, lol. This was really funny to every one seeing that we all though she had all angels covered, but in fact she was just a great sales person with a great bluff. It was not long before she figured it all out and her business was on the way. With no knowledge of business and nor accounting for that matter she went ahead as a sole proprietor. Her business did well for a number of years. She was now able to take care of her self and her family. This however did not came easily it came after years of fighting with male competitors at negations with her gender being question as to weather or not she could move the units. But she did not give up she press on and was successful in the end.
Greatness is not measured by what a man or woman accomplishes, but by the opposition he or she has overcome to reach his goals. Dorothy Height
Women to me are the corner stone of society.
One morning as I got up out my bed and got ready for work, I started thinking about my neighbor, she is very beautiful, seem smart and educated. But all of this was my assumption as we never exchanged words, typical New York style neighbors, we pass you go and come and never find it cool enough to say hello as everyone is always about their own business. But something about this lady a little more than that, she has the most beautiful smile ever, the shape of her body is one that any men would crave. But this was not what got me interested in this young lady.
One day we both got out our apartments together and I could tell it was very awkward for her as it was for me, as its very hard not to look over at the person standing right next to you, however we both got out that and looked at each other at the same time. So here we were steering each other in the eyes. Until she suddenly broke the ice and said something to the effect of “hey! All this time I didn’t know you lived right next to me”
From this moment on we started smiling at each other, saying hello here and there, whenever it’s convenient. But all of a sudden we started seeing each other more often, so our relation started feeling a little less weird. So at this point I started taking notice of her.
I knew she also worked in the city as we would get on the train together in the morning times and she usually gets off before I do. But all of this was not what keep me intrigued all this time.
Every evening or most evening when I am back home form work I would see this lady taking the kids home, taking them to the park, taking our her laundry to get it done. So I started to wonder if her husband ever did any work at all. How does she get by doing all this work on a daily basis? After working for 8-10 hours a day I know I am completely exhausted, I don’t want to see anyone or anything but my bed. No but this lady has three kids and a husband to tend to after working the same amount or more hours than I do.
So in essence she works 3 jobs, the 9-5 then the other taking care of the kids plus the one taking care of her business in the bedroom. How can I not admire women? I know for sure she is not the only one doing this, I know for sure that this is not affixed to one race as I see women of all races doing this day in day out. It’s as if they just know they have to do it and they have no choice. But in essence they do have a choice; they could have run away, they could have given up the kids for adoption. But they did not; they are sticking it out day after day. So whey then should we not treat woman as equal as men, when in essence they actually do a whole lot more in society that men actually do. Not saying that you don’t have men that do all of the above but the overwhelming majority is women.
I could not close this blog without mentioning my mom and my aunt, who for most part was the most influential in my upbringing. My aunt did not have kids of her own so I was her son for the most part I enjoyed all the things she would buy me, but that’s only if I performed well in school. This was my motivation for the formative years of my life. It was either perform well and get gifts or not and get noting. Let’s just say I was a sucker for sweets so I made sure I performed well for the most part. While my aunt was taking care of me, my mom was there starting her business. At the time my aunts husband was the loan officer at the bank so he helped my mom got the small business loan she needed to get started; all this was fine and dandy. My mom had all the plans laid out in the world how she would use this money and be able to repay the loan and still come out at a profit.
So one day she called and said she got the loan now she doesn’t have a clue what to do, lol. This was really funny to every one seeing that we all though she had all angels covered, but in fact she was just a great sales person with a great bluff. It was not long before she figured it all out and her business was on the way. With no knowledge of business and nor accounting for that matter she went ahead as a sole proprietor. Her business did well for a number of years. She was now able to take care of her self and her family. This however did not came easily it came after years of fighting with male competitors at negations with her gender being question as to weather or not she could move the units. But she did not give up she press on and was successful in the end.
Greatness is not measured by what a man or woman accomplishes, but by the opposition he or she has overcome to reach his goals. Dorothy Height
Women to me are the corner stone of society.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Competition could be good for relationship but the reverse is also true.
We're all exposed to some form of competition from our earliest childhoods. We competed with our siblings for our parent's affections, we competed with our classmates
for the teacher's attention and we competed in sports or academic events. In our adolescence, we continued to compete for college scholarships or spots in an athletic team. We even competed for the attentions of members of the opposite sex. All these I guess is left up to the way you were raised. As someone family are more laid back and less competitive. But in my family you have to be the best. Or at least act like you are.
This competitive spirit often serves a positive purpose- it keeps us motivated to improve ourselves by occasionally comparing our own skills against others. But sometimes competition brings on situations where we get so caught up in the pursuit of 'winning' that we lose sight of the benefits of not winning. This is one of the dangers couples face in romantic relationships.
It would be nice if we could completely switch off our competitive urges, but we can't. Two individuals meet, often under competitive circumstances, and a complicated cycle of ambition and compromise often begins. In a sense, the meeting itself is a result of competition. One or both partners took the initiative and successfully pursued someone who may have been seen as a 'prize catch' by others. Thus a romantic relationship already begins with a sense of achievement through competition.
Sometimes a competitive spirit can bring out better qualities in both partners. Each individual accomplishment promotes a positive sense of 'if she can do it, so can I'. Romantic partners can provide each other with a tangible example of what ambition and drive can do. Someone who tends to remain on the sidelines while others move forward may find the resolve to improve himself or herself. In the most positive sense of competition, demonstrating your own ambition might spur a romantic partner to break out of a slump and become more energized. The only caveat would be to realize when you're being constructively competitive and when you're being recklessly driven by ego. Romantic partners may appreciate each other's competitive natures, but one may begin to build up resentment if the other is constantly away for contests or career-boosting.
You guy maybe wondering what lead me to writing this. Its also a combinations of things one I think my focus on achieving has be so much so that it lead to me being single for the longest while and it has also damage some relationships I had. Second is that I recently had an exam and I tweet about my score compared to my friend score and someone reply that it was plain arrogance. But I begged to differ.
We both went to the same class did the same exams, he got 97 and I got 93 so I was saying that I was pissed and that warrant the repose of arrogance. I know we are all from different backgrounds and cultures. But for me and my college friends it was not seen as arrogance it was plain competition, which was advantageous to all of us as we kept each other on point. For some just passing an exam is completely fine but for other mastering the subject matter and showing that in the form of performing well in an exam on the subject matter is way more important, which so happens to be the way I am.( friends also)
I know that my competitive sprit has its Disadvantages (In Relationship)
As competition left unchecked can lead to conflict. An issue that may be readily resolved with a little compromise may escalate to a full-blown battle instead. The idea of being proven wrong or having to settle for second place is not always a good thing for competitive personalities to consider. Winning the argument becomes more important than reconciling the facts which prompted it; this is where I think compromise and just plain right walking out the house at times come in handy.
Not suggesting that I am running away from the problem at hand but at times facing the problem when a person is upset is not in all cases the right thing to do. For me I really hate arguments as it never solves one thing. It ether lead to some plates been broken or laptop been slammed to the floor, which will cost to be replaced.
This is where I think knowing when to let go and compromise comes in. but on the other hand I really hate to hear people talking bullshit. Most recent is Michael Jackson, the media said that Michael Jackson was 450 million in debt, some people find that hard to believe or I “cant believe where did all of his money went” not taking into consideration that the guys estate is worth more than the debt that he has. They instead take it as he is broke. For most of us if we should die will die with debt weather it be the mortgage on the house the car note, credit cards, this however does not mean that your life insurance does not amount to more than your expenses. I think people should not just listen to the media for talking point but research with they are talking about because it shows ignorance. This is one of my recent arguments with a guy that I was not willing to compromise on, as he was saying that MJ died broke.
Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself. Robert Collier
for the teacher's attention and we competed in sports or academic events. In our adolescence, we continued to compete for college scholarships or spots in an athletic team. We even competed for the attentions of members of the opposite sex. All these I guess is left up to the way you were raised. As someone family are more laid back and less competitive. But in my family you have to be the best. Or at least act like you are.
This competitive spirit often serves a positive purpose- it keeps us motivated to improve ourselves by occasionally comparing our own skills against others. But sometimes competition brings on situations where we get so caught up in the pursuit of 'winning' that we lose sight of the benefits of not winning. This is one of the dangers couples face in romantic relationships.
It would be nice if we could completely switch off our competitive urges, but we can't. Two individuals meet, often under competitive circumstances, and a complicated cycle of ambition and compromise often begins. In a sense, the meeting itself is a result of competition. One or both partners took the initiative and successfully pursued someone who may have been seen as a 'prize catch' by others. Thus a romantic relationship already begins with a sense of achievement through competition.
Sometimes a competitive spirit can bring out better qualities in both partners. Each individual accomplishment promotes a positive sense of 'if she can do it, so can I'. Romantic partners can provide each other with a tangible example of what ambition and drive can do. Someone who tends to remain on the sidelines while others move forward may find the resolve to improve himself or herself. In the most positive sense of competition, demonstrating your own ambition might spur a romantic partner to break out of a slump and become more energized. The only caveat would be to realize when you're being constructively competitive and when you're being recklessly driven by ego. Romantic partners may appreciate each other's competitive natures, but one may begin to build up resentment if the other is constantly away for contests or career-boosting.
You guy maybe wondering what lead me to writing this. Its also a combinations of things one I think my focus on achieving has be so much so that it lead to me being single for the longest while and it has also damage some relationships I had. Second is that I recently had an exam and I tweet about my score compared to my friend score and someone reply that it was plain arrogance. But I begged to differ.
We both went to the same class did the same exams, he got 97 and I got 93 so I was saying that I was pissed and that warrant the repose of arrogance. I know we are all from different backgrounds and cultures. But for me and my college friends it was not seen as arrogance it was plain competition, which was advantageous to all of us as we kept each other on point. For some just passing an exam is completely fine but for other mastering the subject matter and showing that in the form of performing well in an exam on the subject matter is way more important, which so happens to be the way I am.( friends also)
I know that my competitive sprit has its Disadvantages (In Relationship)
As competition left unchecked can lead to conflict. An issue that may be readily resolved with a little compromise may escalate to a full-blown battle instead. The idea of being proven wrong or having to settle for second place is not always a good thing for competitive personalities to consider. Winning the argument becomes more important than reconciling the facts which prompted it; this is where I think compromise and just plain right walking out the house at times come in handy.
Not suggesting that I am running away from the problem at hand but at times facing the problem when a person is upset is not in all cases the right thing to do. For me I really hate arguments as it never solves one thing. It ether lead to some plates been broken or laptop been slammed to the floor, which will cost to be replaced.
This is where I think knowing when to let go and compromise comes in. but on the other hand I really hate to hear people talking bullshit. Most recent is Michael Jackson, the media said that Michael Jackson was 450 million in debt, some people find that hard to believe or I “cant believe where did all of his money went” not taking into consideration that the guys estate is worth more than the debt that he has. They instead take it as he is broke. For most of us if we should die will die with debt weather it be the mortgage on the house the car note, credit cards, this however does not mean that your life insurance does not amount to more than your expenses. I think people should not just listen to the media for talking point but research with they are talking about because it shows ignorance. This is one of my recent arguments with a guy that I was not willing to compromise on, as he was saying that MJ died broke.
Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself. Robert Collier
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Been some time now.
I know I have not written for sometime now, reason being I am so busy studying for my Securities license, many of you may not have know but yes I am switching from Accounting to Finance, many say I am crazy in this time to be making such move, but I think the time is just right.
I am tired of sitting all day doing the same thing over and over and over again.
As for some reason I am always more passionate and effective when working with people. I guess what I am trying to say s that I am more of a people person that a computer person.
Another issue that I am dealing with is a former co-worker, who just got out of a sixteen years relationship who is totally devastated. So my time I usually spend blogging or chilling I spend with her offering her advise being that I am been single for the longest while lol I may not be the right person right?
My vocation is coming up very soon, going to Jamaica for two weeks I really want wait!.
I know a lot of you guys who read my blog are professional or know a lot of professionals. So I would really appreciate a referral to a friend who is in the finance industry or anyone who may have any connections. I have 3 years experience in the finance service industry, for further information leave me a comment requesting it. I will be more that gland to shoot you a copy of my resume.
You all should check out http://20sb.net/chat, its a great networking chat room.
Thanks much
I am tired of sitting all day doing the same thing over and over and over again.
As for some reason I am always more passionate and effective when working with people. I guess what I am trying to say s that I am more of a people person that a computer person.
Another issue that I am dealing with is a former co-worker, who just got out of a sixteen years relationship who is totally devastated. So my time I usually spend blogging or chilling I spend with her offering her advise being that I am been single for the longest while lol I may not be the right person right?
My vocation is coming up very soon, going to Jamaica for two weeks I really want wait!.
I know a lot of you guys who read my blog are professional or know a lot of professionals. So I would really appreciate a referral to a friend who is in the finance industry or anyone who may have any connections. I have 3 years experience in the finance service industry, for further information leave me a comment requesting it. I will be more that gland to shoot you a copy of my resume.
You all should check out http://20sb.net/chat, its a great networking chat room.
Thanks much
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Dear Dad.( Or should I say sperm donor)
At the tender age of 8 years old when they had kidnapped you after meeting you for the first time about two months before and totally in love with you for reason I cant seem to explain or understand. I guess Robert Green Law of Isolation hold through. The love I felt for you was unreal not in a GAY way but of a father to a son. I cried night and day and prayed that those guys would have let you go alive.
I cried so much that I had constant headache, I could not come to term with the fact that I just met you and was loosing you so fast. I would not eat or sleep all I did was stand by the phone to hear my grandmother call with good new while bracing myself for the bad news also. Neither came and I could not take it anymore, my mom was sick of me crying and decided that she would take me to my grandma house so at least I could shut the hell up. When I got to the house I noticed that everyone was moving fast and nothing I could have comprehend at that time was said, I felt as though I was in a maze.
Finally I went inside and my Grandma sitting with tears running from he eyes, I could not help but tear up myself as grandpa looked on as studios and he always looked. Word finally broke that you had somehow escaped and run away from your kidnappers. How? I have no clue, but one thing I knew is that I was happy.
All this time I wondered why mom never showed any sympathy for you and asked me why the hell was I even crying, but I guess I was too young to understand that you were just a good for nothing piece of shit. (her words not mines) but when your young all you want to see is your mom and dad being happy and enjoying the beauty of life, not knowing that things was already gone bad in the relationship and you had broken up with her before I was even born. How sweet of you MR. Jackson how sweet!!
While I was in the 5th grade one day I went to the cooler in school to get some water, it so happen that me and this dude got there the same time I decided that I got there first, he was not having it and even though he was in a higher grade I had not planning on backing down. There we were fighting at the cooler almost killing each other. The principal summoned us to her office and punished us by locking us in a dark room. When that was done she called in our parents.
My mom and his did supposedly would be there to represent us, on that lovely Monday morning I was yet again pleasantly surprised by your cleverness for lack of a mean word.
Your turned up as this kid dad, to my surprise I was having a fight with my bother, yeah I said that my brother. Couldn’t you have at least have decency to at least introduce us to each other? No you were too clever MR. Jackson.
15 years later I sit at my desk remembering all these things and I now can laugh about them, even though I and that brother never have a relationship of any sort I still value that day. As fathers day rolls around I wonder how you felt to know that not even one of your kid as much as called you or sent you a card. Doesn’t it feel good Mr. Jackson?
You and I never ever had a sun and father moment which I have grown to accept but that day we had a…….. To be continued...
I cried so much that I had constant headache, I could not come to term with the fact that I just met you and was loosing you so fast. I would not eat or sleep all I did was stand by the phone to hear my grandmother call with good new while bracing myself for the bad news also. Neither came and I could not take it anymore, my mom was sick of me crying and decided that she would take me to my grandma house so at least I could shut the hell up. When I got to the house I noticed that everyone was moving fast and nothing I could have comprehend at that time was said, I felt as though I was in a maze.
Finally I went inside and my Grandma sitting with tears running from he eyes, I could not help but tear up myself as grandpa looked on as studios and he always looked. Word finally broke that you had somehow escaped and run away from your kidnappers. How? I have no clue, but one thing I knew is that I was happy.
All this time I wondered why mom never showed any sympathy for you and asked me why the hell was I even crying, but I guess I was too young to understand that you were just a good for nothing piece of shit. (her words not mines) but when your young all you want to see is your mom and dad being happy and enjoying the beauty of life, not knowing that things was already gone bad in the relationship and you had broken up with her before I was even born. How sweet of you MR. Jackson how sweet!!
While I was in the 5th grade one day I went to the cooler in school to get some water, it so happen that me and this dude got there the same time I decided that I got there first, he was not having it and even though he was in a higher grade I had not planning on backing down. There we were fighting at the cooler almost killing each other. The principal summoned us to her office and punished us by locking us in a dark room. When that was done she called in our parents.
My mom and his did supposedly would be there to represent us, on that lovely Monday morning I was yet again pleasantly surprised by your cleverness for lack of a mean word.
Your turned up as this kid dad, to my surprise I was having a fight with my bother, yeah I said that my brother. Couldn’t you have at least have decency to at least introduce us to each other? No you were too clever MR. Jackson.
15 years later I sit at my desk remembering all these things and I now can laugh about them, even though I and that brother never have a relationship of any sort I still value that day. As fathers day rolls around I wonder how you felt to know that not even one of your kid as much as called you or sent you a card. Doesn’t it feel good Mr. Jackson?
You and I never ever had a sun and father moment which I have grown to accept but that day we had a…….. To be continued...
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