So yesterday I was in a meeting, and yet again I am the only black men in the room, not that I felt uncomfortable, but I was pissed, I am fucking tired of not seeing black in one of my meetings.
so I got on the train 8 in the morning heading to an accounting executive meeting at 42nd street, while on the train, I was hoping that at least I would see one black men in this meeting, the train was giving some trouble so I got the a little bit late, finally I go there sing in at the from desk take the little picture for the ID and took the elevator to the
25 floor of the building, when I exited the elevator, I was greeted by warm group of WHITE Males, and they took my coat and gave me my name tag. It was early, so they were fruits being served, so I took a couple grapes and a few slices of pineapple.
So I went in the conference room and it was not fully occupied as yet, which mean I was not the last one to get there, I was there counting the amount of WHITE males and Mix females, then I sat and waited for like 20 minutes to see a black men enter the door, but that was not about to happen, apart from myself and another BLACK FEMALE the only thing black was the platter our folder with the presentation were placed on.
The presentation went well and we came to an agreement and that was that, I met a very smart guy, the guy that created the transit check system and we started a conversation, to my surprise this guy was smarter than I though he was, he is a physicists, and Lawyer, he was born in Brooklyn like many of us New Yorkers, he went to school here and then to Chicago.
So I think to myself if he can do it, why cant allot other do the same, he was not brought up in a wealthy family, he had to work hard like allot of us do. (He is WHITE)
One thing I HATE is when people blame their lack of achievement on their race, there is nothing in the world that gets me upset like this.
Its the most common excuse I have herd from young black males, and I often use myself as an example, which I hate to do, I really don’t want anyone to think I am trying to say I am better off then they are. Because I don’t think I am, I am just more focus.
The ratio is already seven women to one men (7-1) and we have say 90% of the prison population being black, so where are the black women going to find a black men if they choose to date one.
I was reading a friend blog about how educated black me think they are the shit, but in fact the rate at which the uneducated black men are going to prison they have a right to feel that way. The one that so happen to stay out of jail maybe 20% of that amount is educated so tell me now, who should be blame, its not the educated guys, it’s the one who are either in prison and the uneducated ones.
With the ever increasing rate of interracial dating, which seem to attract the educated black men, its going to be very difficult for an educated black women to get a educated black men, because they are in competition with other races.
To be continued……
13 comments:
You know what?! I'm so happy you posted this. I am a single black female, college graduate, and have a career as a traveling consultant for a software solutions provider. I have such a difficult time meeting educated black men. It seems that black men don't want to go to college, they want to be rappers, football players, or drug dealers. It's really frustrating and a lot of the reason that black women date white men!
the post was good until the end. i think its some bull crap. just because you are the ONLY educated black male does not justify arrogance. I REFUSE to agree with HAVING A REASON to act like you are the shit, because you and other black men could have easily slipped into the crack of being the so called "aint shit nigga"
Furthermore, there is no one to blame but the system. No one can sit and blame the broke nor the educated black men. The system needs to be changed in order for the majority of black men to remain out of jail and into the school system, valuing education. THE WHOLE POINT of my post was to shine light onto the arrogant, haughty nature of the ONE educated black man. And that black women should not settle for an asshole because he AND SHE feels he is the only one. She should just date outside of her race. There is plenty of men of different races ready and willing to date a black woman. Black women need to realize that and not settle for an asshole who feels he is the shit because he has a degree.
The end of your piece makes me question your motives.
Why cant people just meet people, maybe fancy them, maybe develop a relationship with them? Why black women looking for black men?? Surely if we follow our instincts we'll meet suitable partners. Who gives a shit what colour they are?
Regarding uneducated black men, I do feel that many black men are their own undoing. I dont dislike rap music, but I hate the rap worlds worship of diamonds, money and flesh. Men need intelligent role models, these need not be educated, intelligence will do, they need not be black or whatever colour, although young black kids might relate more to an intelligent black man than white man. Maybe that needs to be set aside too. Men need leaders and role models.
I do believe world leaders are delighted for men to be worshipping rich rappers and sports stars because as long as we are chasing after this crap we are not paying attention to how we are being controlled and robbed by them.
by the way i'm really hoping for a draw today between liverpool v chelsea!
HeavenBlessing?
I am not saying in my post that the educated black man should act like they are more than anyone else, I am simple saying if there were more educated black man, this would not have bin the problem, its economics 101 the simple law of supply and demand, the amount of educated black females is higher that their males counterparts.
everyone want to blame the system for not being able to make it bull shit, there is allot of black man who have made it through the same system, so I think that’s no excuse its utter rubbish. I SAY BLAME YOURSELF. Why we always want to blame someone else for our lack of achievement, why?
We as black man need to be more responsible for out own destiny and work hard to achieve our goals.
Gavin, you don’t have to question my motive I have dated across racial lines and continue to do so. That part of the post was written as a reply to
HeavenBlessing Post.
And I know you would want a draw because with that Manu will be further ahead. But I am here waiting for the game to start.
So let’s talk about it after the game is over.
In response to "blame yourself"
everyone thinks it is soooo easy to just move up in the world. That is untrue and in not utter rubbish. Everyone needs someone to motivate them and without that buttress, it is hard to be successful. As in what Gavin said, "people need role models." I, as well as anyone successful, without the helping hand of my parents and other role models in my life could have been just as unfortunate as those who do not make it. Most who do not make it in society do not have someone successful to model themselves after...
To end it, what is the purpose of the "economics 101" analogy? It does not fit in what the purpose of the argument.
As I said before, I know there is a lack of black educated men, it does NOT give EDUCATED black men the right to act pompous. Educated black men need to realize that they are NOT the ONLY ONE, although there are few, it should not warrant treating black women like crap and acting conceited.
Going back to what Gavin said, "people shouldnt give a shit about colour."
Its time to move on from the Black man who CONSISTENTLY points out that he is educated and acts like he is the only one. Most, if not all educated black women are in search for an educated black man. I say its Time to find someone who will treat you right and not settle for Mr. ONLY BLACK EDUCATED MAN. He is not worth it.
HeavenBlessing:
I agree that people need role model, but look in society how many role model you got to choose from. Yet again I am going to say this, I don’t give any one the right to act like they are better than the other, this whole discussion started of who is to be blame, and your statement was that the system is the problem, to which I disagree, yes everyone can blame the system just because the system cannot pass the blame to someone else.
The point I am trying to make is that, Black men need to take responsibility, and this can go a very far way, you would have less single parent house hold, which will then provide role model in our homes.
I totally understand where you’re coming from and I do agree with what your saying, any guy who acts like you’re describing is really out of touch with reality, and need to get a grip on life. I have never used those term an will never, not because you got a degree makes you that attractive, I never speak about my achievements on less I have bin asked and yet then I try to not to. Yes every one wants to date the smart six figure guy, but for me personality comes first over what I have accomplished.
So don’t think I am in support of guys who act like that, I am saying if more black males took on their responsibility that would have not been the case.
Hmmm interesting.
1) HeavenBlessing? your right. An education does not mean you can talk down to anyone else. THATS the problem with black folks. They dont try to uplift they try to put each other down. Arrogance is an UGLY trait.
2) Unbreakable
Just because you were able to make it through a system that IS in fact made up to assist in the failure of POOR people (white and black alike) doesnt mean that EVERY one is able to. Some black men do in fact work hard as hell to get where they want to but 1 little slip up, 1 small mistake he's out. Its a system where african american people aren't equipped because of the system and because of history to succeed.
Watch the news hunny. Watch the news.
i'm going to have to agree wth super woman; some men just don't have the desire to do anything with their life so they won't be anything.
Superwoman thanks for sharing, but it seems I am the one that is out of touch with this, I can’t totally agree with you that one mistake and your out, its all depends on the nature of the mistake off course. Can some please tell me more about this system? Because it seems I am really out of touch.
So how do you explain, the Black woman’s being educated at a way higher level; did they not go through the same system?
A role model is someone who is there for you, shows you DIRECT examples. When you say "how many role models you have to choose from?"
Are you agreeing or disagreeing?
If you are agreeing, then you see that black men and others who are unfortunate do not have a good example of how to be successful
If you are disagreeing?
A role model is someone who shows you the way. A tv personality can not play as a role model. Fools on BET cannot play as a role model. Athletes cannot play as a role model.
Since you dont know the system, let me explain it to you:
White dolls are seen as the most attractive, pure smart dolls.
Loans for homes are given to less than 5% of minorities. OR Minorites are more than likely to receive subprime loans.
There is covert segregation in neighborhoods. White people move out when black people move in. Those areas remain pot hole ridden, streets are never cleared of snow. Liquors stores, fast food places, fast food billboards. Terrible schools. barely any economic opportunity. No grocery stores, barely any stores, no fitness places...leads to obesity, diabetes, heart disease.
Which we are at the HIGHEST rate to die from?
No sex education, leads to HIV and unplanned pregnancy. "Check into cash" loan shark businesses.
(I should know, I lived in Englewood, the roughest ghetto in Chicago for over 10 years, I know the system)
BET...black entertainment television, it speaks for itself but if you dont know...what happened to the show Teen Summit that addressed issues for young black people. No news. All rap and flossing jewelry etc.
Mcdonalds commercials that feature ALL black people, all of a sudden.
Health disparity, white person with a health issue gets better treatment for the SAME illness compared to a black person, and Black women get the worst! If you need the research I can email you this study.
...and so many more
I've lived the system Unbreakable. I know the system. This is actually apart of my job as a health researcher. You should know the system too. Don't be blind because you are living it up now.
As far as black women...dont be fooled.
We carry the ultimate load. Not only are we Women and we are black. We work 2x or even 10x as hard. We have to watch what we say how we say it in fear of being a jezebel, or just plain ol' ghetto. what some may call the "crazy black bitch." We have to wear certain clothes because we are curvier and we have to be easy on the makeup. I wore a pencil skirt to work one day and even the janitor wanted to take me out! Dont get it twisted, there are alot of unsuccessful black women out there.
I hope this clarifies everything. i hope you see our (as in Black educated women) standpoint.
by the way, stop blaming the victim. Unsuccessful black men did not get that way by themselves.
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