Just when I though my life could not get any worst

So after the year passed and I for some reason had the same drive to be with this young lady I finally asked my aunt for her last name so I could facebook her, so I found her and we started chit chatting here and there, so after about a month of talking to this young lady supposedly I found out this was not the young lady who was at the party. They had the same name went to the same school and had very similar looks. So one day as I was at the computer I asked my aunt to take a look at this young lady pictures to see if it was actually her friend. Surprise surpise, it was the wrong person. LoL

So once more I failed to get in contact with the right woman, so a few months passed and I finally caught up with the right young lady, our first meeting was right around May 15 the end of tax season, we shared a lot of common interest so we and had some sort of connection. It was routine for me to shoot pool with my friend on Friday nights so she decided she would not want to breach our regular meeting but instead to join us as she is really good at pool, it was fine for me I had no problem. She did came and kicked both of us ass that night.

We started spending more time with each other and also start developing feelings for each other, we would go to the beach on Sundays In the summer time for a walk, the movies and then the pool shooting became more cost effective as we started playing at her house with her dad which was fun. Time easy slipped away as we grew closer to each other and decided to make it official after a year of dating.

The week of February 25 2010, I notice things were not going as well as we both became really busy as Tax season was back in effect, we started to hardly see each other, she work the weekend in order to make her 80 hours a week required by her Firm, which was fine with me as it give me time to get other things done while she is at work, for myself as well as my family.

So on February 28, she called me over to her house and told me she doesn’t think she want this anymore, I was confused.

Me- what exactly are you talking about?

Her- This relationship, I don’t think I can manage it anymore.


At first I was laughing because this was so unexpected and that was the first thing I could so as that’s what I do for most things laugh. But that was due to the fact that I was in disbelief, I felt as though the rug was just pulled from under my legs without any form of notice, no signs, so complains, nothing that I could have picked up on, actually a week prior to this she sent me an email telling me how much she loves and appreciate me so with this I was really shocked.

So off course in a real fashion I had a breakdown which was not suppose to happen, but I guess that’s what happens when your care about someone that much, first thing came to mind was that we went to look at a few condos about 3 weeks ago, we planned a 7day cruse as our first vocation fro this summer that same weekend and even have the spots on hold, we also have a trip for Spain planned for December which I also have booked through my time share.

It was all over, my time here has came to a end, I really did enjoy every minuet of our relationship, the worst part of this all is that she is pregnant with our baby and funny enough that’s the reason we are breaking up, she don’t need a baby and I don’t want her to do and abortion. According to her we are both not ready for this in our stage of our career and life. She have a point but to be honest I would rather have this kid even if she wan to just leave after she give birth and never to show up in our lives, but that’s not going to happened according to her.

So just when I though my life couldn't get any worst March 2, 2010, I came home from work Monday to move my car from where it was parked only to see the spot where it was parked, first thing I did aging was laugh as it was really funny to me, went to the house to find out if all my keys we there and yes they were all there, call the cops and make a police report, I bough this car for 21k cash so I figured since I don’t owe no money on it I would just take off the full coverage and just keep liability, well that didn’t work out as now its stolen. So in the space of less than a week I was hit twice, well the car could be replaced as I plan to get one next week just cant decide if I should get back a BMW or just go with a cheaper car this time around.

In it all I am still strong or trying to stay strong for the most part. So I think the love thing will be on hold for me for sometime unless that girl will live in a Meadow and love to walk in the Rain.

The beginning of the end!

It was one Sunday evening at my aunt’s baby shower that I saw this beautiful young lady sitting on my back patio, her eyes and mines makes four and we smirk at each other for a quick second or so I though, she was just being the socialite she is. But one thing was for sure I was not being a socialite I was sending all my signals that I had intentions of having a conversation.

So of course I rushed in the house to find out who this young lady was so I would know how to approach her, not that I could not find out for myself but it makes it way much easier to have some background information. But off course I was nervous as hell then the news my aunts gave me was not very encouraging, this beautiful young lady was in a relationship this was no good news for me, actually it was very discouraging. But somewhere deep down I still had a drive to go and exchange words with this young lady. Suddenly one of my friend’s came over and my attention shifted to him and what he was saying. We chatted for about an hour easily then my aunts called me in to ask of me a favor. That favor was to take this young lady to the Long Island Rail Road.

I was so shocked, happy, but nervous as hell I told her meet me out front where the car was parked, as I open her door to let her in we looked in each other eyes then I realized I don’t give a fuck about the relationship she was in or that I assume she was in base on the information provided to me by my aunt. Ran around to the driver side hop in the car and before I know it I was on my way to the train station, off course this is New York City so the first thing people ask Is “what is it that you do”, we both have the same profession we are both Accountant’s so in my little brain I was on a good path, so off course what was suppose to be a 5 minute ride to the train station turned into a 20 minute ride, I was driving so slow even an ant could get there before us, we got to know each other a little bit then I finally arrive at the train station, she suggested that we should exchange numbers. While I take this as interest in me it was nothing but a networking effort on her path. So here we were in the same car having a conversation but we both have two different interpretation of the event.

This was around December and she had to catch that train, as she was about to get the buss to Toronto to spend the holidays with her family, so I drove off after the train left the happiest man alive, knowing that this is something that I really wanted, I had an connection with her that I had only had once in my life and I was sure i wanted to peruse it, she called once she got into the city and I was very excited to hear her voice but I could not show that excitement didn’t want to come off as a creep. She lefty for Canada and I never herd from her in over a year.

To be continue

My weekend

This weekend I decided to go to one of my favorite places on the island, its called fire island, yes I know I may be seen as crazy to be going to the beach in the winter time, but it’s the place I go to relax and think about the pass weeks and also my future. I always want a beachfront property and it may be coming to fruition sometime in the near future. While I was there I took some picture that I wanted to share with you guys, I was really surprise how many people was on the beach. That’s the beauty of New York you could live the country life in the city.

Hope you guys like them.

This is my fav's

Reasons for Cheating

Like any other profession it takes time and effort to develop cheating skills which we all at some point failed miserable at, but some may say why cheat anyways it’s a very selfish act on your part. You’re such a dick why would you do that to someone you love?

When men have affairs, they tend to be motivated by sex — new sex, more sex, different sex. Women cheat for many reasons: companionship, romance, more security, and, of course, sex. But are men’s motivations really that simple? No. Even for men, cheating is far more complex.

Studies show most men who cheat want to experiment sexually and experience the rush associated with “new sex.” This is their way of prolonging indefinitely the early and intoxicating phase of infatuation in a relationship. But men also have affairs to either avoid intimacy, recover their lost youth, or escape an unhappy marriage.
Men who fear intimacy will have affairs to maintain power in their relationships. If a man doesn't commit to his lover, he controls his level of vulnerability. Some men cheat in fact to avoid any real intimacy. Intimacy scares them, so they distance themselves from their wives by cheating on them and they don’t get emotionally involved with their lovers. This way they never have to trust their partners or rely on them. This kind of man may also fear conflict.

Then there are men who will strike up an affair when they start to feel the fear and loss that comes with aging. They realize they are no longer young and invulnerable, so they have an affair to deny that they are getting old. Finding someone who is “young and new,” makes them feel more youthful.
Biologists believe men cheat by the Darwinian instinct to spread their genetic seed to more mates (whereas women would one mate to get protection and support). However, since more women are cheating, this suggests that they felt societal pressure in the past to suppress their sexual desires. There also may be another reason men are more likely to stray: environment. Psychologically speaking, men who cheat are often the child of an adulterer. They are repeating behavior that they know and looking to correct that feeling that no one ever loved only them.

Why do women cheat? The simple answer is because they hurt. They have pain related to loneliness, the rejection and betrayal of a cheating spouse, an unexciting and unsatisfactory relationship, or feeling poorly about themselves.

Why do women cheat? Because of emotional needs not met and the hurt that accompanies this lack. Is it sometimes just physical lust? Occasionally, but I do not see much of this.

Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs or are susceptible to advances. Women who are in an unsatisfactory relationship may feel even lonelier than if they were still single. A partner who is over involved with his work or hobby may severely limit the attention and admiration he gives to his mate.

She then feels unattractive, uncared for, and hopeless about getting her needs met. While this is a reason for working harder on the relationship, not seeking relief from another man, it is easy to understand the pain that makes the whole thing possible.

And then there is Revenge. I am seeing much more of this as a motive in recent years. Today's woman is not willing to just sit still and "take it." Unfortunately, the "eye for an eye" approach has become more acceptable and a woman who feels betrayed and rejected may well return the favor.

Sometimes a woman needs only to hold a suspicion that her partner is cheating to be susceptible. She may have painful memories from other, earlier relationships in her life, and she may have an expectation of being hurt in this one, as well. This is where a "self fulfilling prophecy" can take over and create pain for everyone.

One reason for a woman's affair is similar to one for men: boredom. An unsatisfying, dull, and predictable relationship that is not growing in depth can make the excitement of a new relationship very attractive.

The affair is not only exciting due to the new person involved, but also to the whole experience of sneaking around and hiding it. This can be a huge adrenaline rush. It's not saying it too strongly to say that it can even be mildly addictive. Women who have multiple affairs may be experiencing this kind of stimulus.

For I have come to the conclusion base on my research that men is the real reason women cheat. It’s this justifiable no but they still do it, so I am wondering why is it that males play such big part in the breakdown of relationships.

I have also realized that when a male cheat its not as bad as when a females cheat as their reason vary and are more emotionally driven that male is. Males often cheat for sex and the rush of a new and exciting thing. While on the other hand females tend to cheat for emotional satisfaction which is more severe than cheating for sex in my view. Two bad never makes it right so for women to cheat because the male cheat it really immature and childish (don’t kill me for saying that lol) I understand your hurting I am in no way saying the male is right to cheat, but going out and cheating on him does not mean it better. The other thing that women do is that they cheat on makes with someone close to home, your friend your brother, its usually someone you know which tend to hurt even more. With that said I would also conclude that females are better at doing it that we are.

Have you been cheated on? Were you wiling to forgive your partner and continue with the relationship? Did It work out in the long run?

I have been cheated on and I tried to forgive but for nothing it could not work, I lost trust and once that was out the door it was like trying to push water up an hill without a pump.

My Near death Experiences

One Sunday morning about 6 am, my older brother and I went to the beach to take a swim. I was about the age of 12 and could not swing or float to save my life, however I love the water. My brother though that I could swim. All this time but in reality I could not. So he said lets go way out and I said.

“No”
He replied
“Why not”
So I turned to him and say I can’t swim
“What you can’t what, all this time I though you could swim”
I replied “well now you know I can’t”
I being smart at all time said to him,” I never seen the fish walking the shores so I don’t need to swim”

They guy had a big smile on his face. I though that would be the end of the discussion but to my surprised it was not it was the beginning of my near death experience.

So here I was at shore, do my little thing, suddenly I felt my brother pick me up like a kid,

Me-no man put me down.

That he ignored, and tossed me live a base ball further out in the water. I was so frightened that I took in all the water on the beach of water in my mouth.

Before I could regain my footing and fill the sea back up the all that water. He got me once more and tossed me ever further I was screaming like a kid (o yeah I was a kid). Not in a good way, I am cursing all sorts of things.

He repeated this for like 5 minutes not allowing me to catch my breath, so the last time he sailed me like a Frisbee by one leg about 20feet out, when my face hit the water it hurt so much I felt as though I just dive in an empty pool head first.

but this the sixth time was very different from the prior 5 five I was exhausted, drained, when I tried to stand there was no reef to stand on it was too deep so I panicked after trying to keep my head above water for about two minutes failed I gave up I was like this is it, looking at my brother some feet back begging him for help to save my life I am dying all he did was laugh, not knowing I was about to take my last breath, no he is just having fun watching me drown, and them some guys on the beach was like you stupid guy don’t you see the kid dying. When I herd that I was dying from that guy I don’t know where it came from but got the strength to stay above the water for about two more seconds and that’s when he came and got me, when he took me to shore I was so unconscious and pale looking.



That’s was only the first time, the second time in Jamaica called the James Bond Beach with a group of friends. When we arrived we were greeted my lifeguards and other security personnel. To give us a brief, they had warned us not to go to this particular party of the beach because it was very dangerous.

Off course as teenagers that went through the next ear, we did not choose to listen to him, as for that matter that was the most beautiful part of the beach with palm trees and nice white sands lined the whole walk. I was one of the most beautiful sights I have seen. While they were there giving the brief I was there cracking jokes, so when they told us to have a great day and be safe, me and my friend when to the side were we told not to go. So every one were jumping over the security rope and having fun doing it, well all chased to the beautiful Chrystal clear water, every one dived in, so I did also because that I could not resist.


To my surprise, the reason we were told not to go to that spot was that they were working on that part of the beach and had taken some of the sand out, so there was this big hole in the water. So when I dive in I looked up to the surface and realized that it was taking longer than I had expected to return to the surface, so I did panic and I managed to make it to the surface and said help!

My friends started to laugh, they though I was joking but I was really serious I really needed help. so I could not maintain a balance so I went down once more and managed to surfaced once again I said I am serious I need help, this time they even find it more funny and laugh even harder.

My body was so tired in my effort to stay afloat; I was completely drained so I got the strength I don’t know where it came from to make it to the surface once more and my friend Richard Smiles held my hand and I managed to get out. He did not even had to take two steps to get to me we were that near to each other, it guess it does not pay to be the joker of the bunch because when your dying every one will think its another silly joke your cracking.

Until this day they all don’t believe, the thing is they were so near to me and they though it could not be that deep where I was because they were standing comfortably. So I can say I learned my lesson or did it as I still don’t know how to swim. But one thing I take away from my lesson was that we should fallow instructions even if we think they may be stupid.

When did I become a pussy?

I am starting to think this is not for me at all, I have made a enormous effort to be the best man I could be and I am starting to think that my effort has gotten me in a corner in which I will be easily taken for granted. About for years ago I decide that I will never put my trust in another human ever again but that all changed when I met this young lady, I decided to be the best man I could have ever been until this day when I prove the theory that treat then like dogs they treat you like king its real I have proven it over and over again.

Or maybe just maybe the fucking love thing is really not for me at all, after I spent i year and a half weathering the storm of her failed relationship with her and being a good friend the best friend I could be and were ever in my life. I feel as though all my time was time not well spent and for that matter wasted. Now how do I look back from this point on, where do I turn, with whom do I share my pain? I am currently feeling like a fish out of water lost in translation. Is this your definition of love? If that’s the case I don’t want to be in love ever in my life. Normally I am not really the patient person with her I was patient very patient I must add but now I have seen that being the bad guy really paid off and being the all nice cool guy just simple don’t work.

Then the question all came back to me is there any nice guys out there? You really want to know what happened to them, no they are not all taken, I have to agree some are taken but some went bad not because they want to but because of girls like you. Who had a guy good but never taken the time out to appreciate what you have and always thinking the grass is always greener on the other side, now you find out that is not greener its just has a different shades of green, what now, where now? Who is next ?



written about 3 years ago.

The Earth Quake is the best and worst thing that happens to Haiti.

About two years ago my Grandma went to Haiti with her friend to visit when she came back she was so sad but yet so kind and appreciative of the little she have. She went to Port Of Prince as that’s where her friend Jean lived at the time ( R.I.P Jean).

The situation she describes to us is one which was never though of ever in our dreams, she told us that the people were very less fortunate, they eat mud cakes. Could you just imagine MUD cakes? That’s not a name for a cake it’s actually the ingredients that the cake is made of, which is the mud from the ground.

So prior to this devastating earth quake the Haitian people were already in a very bad situation,.

Christopher Columbus arrived at the island during his first voyage to America in 1492. During his arrival he founded the settlement of La Navidad on the north coast of present day Haiti. On his return the subsequent year, following the disbandment of La Navidad, Columbus quickly founded a second settlement farther east in present day Dominican Republic, La Isabela, which became the first permanent European settlement in the Americas and today is the second largest Caribbean island.
The island was inhabited by the Taínos, one of the indigenous Arawak peoples. The Taino were at first tolerant of Columbus and his crew, and helped him to construct La Navidad on what is now Môle Saint-Nicolas, Haiti, in December 1492. European colonization of the island began earnestly the following year, when 1,300 men arrived from Spain under the watch of Bartolomeo Columbus. In 1496 the town of Nueva Isabela was founded. After being destroyed by a hurricane, it was rebuilt on the opposite side of the Ozama River and called Santo Domingo. It is the oldest permanent European settlement in the Americas. The Taino population of the island was rapidly decimated, owing to a combination of disease and harsh treatment by Spanish overlords. In 1501, the colony began to import African slaves, believing them more capable of performing physical labor. The natives lacked immunity to smallpox and entire tribes were extinguished. From an estimated initial population of 250,000 in 1492, the Arawaks had dropped by 1517 to 14,000.
In 1574, a census taken of the Greater Antilles, reported 1,000 Spaniards and 12,000 African slaves on Hispaniola.
As Spain conquered new regions on the mainland of the Americas, its interest in Hispaniola waned, and the colony's population grew slowly. By the early 17th century, the island and its smaller neighbors (notably Tortuga) became regular stopping points for Caribbean pirates. In 1606, the king of Spain ordered all inhabitants of Hispaniola to move close to Santo Domingo, to avoid interaction with pirates. Rather than secure the island, however, this resulted in French, English and Dutch pirates establishing bases on the now-abandoned north and west coasts of the island.
In 1665, French colonization of the island was officially recognized by King Louis XIV. The French colony was given the name Saint-Domingue, which became present-day Haiti. In the 1697 Treaty of Ryswick, Spain formally ceded the western third of the island to France. Saint-Domingue quickly came to overshadow the east in both wealth and population. Nicknamed the "Pearl of the Antilles," it became the richest and most prosperous colony in the West Indies and one of the wealthiest in the world, cementing its status as the most important port in the Americas for goods and products flowing to and from Europe. After independence for Haiti, this reversed and Haiti became one of the poorest countries in the Americas and the Dominican Republic developed into the largest economy of Central America and the Caribbean.
I am saying this to say that Haiti was not always a very poor country and also to point out the fact that REP.Dominicana and Haiti is the same island only separated by a border.

I said this earth quake is the best thing that could have happen to Haiti due to the fact that the people of Haiti were already going through unbearable poverty, I few life were lost that is never a good thing especially for the kids who are now left without parents. (But it might just the the price they had to pay to help the Island)

But now the international community is finally stepping up the effort to help these people who have been begging for help years ago, I have read and heard a lot of negative things said about the Island by some very arrogant people which got me pissed for the most part, the reason why this island goes through so much devastation from natural disaster is due to its location, Haiti is located in the middle of the hurricane belt and from June to October the nation often experiences severe storms. There are also periods of drought throughout the year and flooding and earthquakes both pose serious issues to the inhabitants of this small but populous country, so to those who say Haiti made a deal with the devil check your facts before you talk smack.

To be continued…