For sometime now I have been reading a couple single hopeless blogs and it has somehow gotten to me, being that I am also single. To me it’s like they are allowing themselves to be swallowed up by singledom(just made that one up lol) that they don’t even get out to enjoy themselves anymore.
I see being single as an opportunity to meet new people and network, that which I have been doing a lot of lately. I am in no way saying that this cannot be done wile your in a relationship, as it’s also possible. I am however a firm believes that when you’re single you open up yourself more to new adventures and more opportunity due to the fact that you don’t have to be thinking about your partners feelings.
A relationship has its advantages and its disadvantages.
Benefits of being single-
1) you don't have to be committed
2) when all your other friends are mad at their man/woman you get to think how you luck do not have to deal with it.
3) Not having to worry about someone cheating on you behind your back
Disadvantages of being single-
1) Wishing that you had someone who like you for you
2) your friends bragging about how much they love their boyfriends/ girlfriends
3) Wishing that you had a boyfriend/ girlfriend so that you could go through the drama of it
Advantages of being in a relationship-
1) Having someone like you and just like you only
2) The feeling when you see them all the time
3) More focus on important things in life
than about it...
These however are left up to the individual, as for me at time’s I get really lonely, but that’s only for a quick second or two, as I always have someone ringing off my phone weather it be my mom, who’s number appears the most in my phone history, or some random friend. I have come to the conclusion that I have chosen to be single as I have numerous girls who are very much interested in me. At time they say I am afraid of commitment which I am afraid I have to disagree, what I am afraid of is not being committed, if ever in life at anytime you find that you’re not committed to at least one thing then something is terribly wrong. Weather it be your school work, your job, your marriage, your blog, relationship etc. Being committed is not my problem I have been committed to my career and its working out so far so good.
Most of my friends are married or in serious relationships, I do attend a lot of their family events, wedding, baby showers, birthday parties and also got to pick up a few at nights when they get kicked out for one reason or the other. I do get jealous at time and then I make sure I snap out of that feeling very quick, I don’t allow it to consume me. It looks all beautiful and great on the surface but I know the hardship they have in their relationships.
Being in a relationship for me is like running a business, a partnership not a sole proprietorship. Whenever it gets’s to the point where one party feels it’s a one man business that’s where the problem comes in. in relationships we have to be selfless and often we are too selfish as humans, "it take too baby" is a very famous slogan that all relationship should fallow, too often we see one person trying to do it all alone and that end’s up hurting the family. We see father trying to work long hours to make sure the family is financially stable and capable of enjoying a better life, when intern he is missing from the home for the upbringing of the kid’s, mom starts to get lonely and we all know where that ends.
It’s important to look at the career a person has and match it up with your qualities and see if it will work for you, before you jump in a relationship. Females get very giddy at times because a guy works a lot of money and has a career that the sounds good to report to her friends and family, but at the end of the day they are lonely in their marriage living in the lavish home all alone or with kid’s husband has to constantly be on the road. These are all thing I consider before going in a relationship it may not work for all but sure it will for me.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
I AM SORRY
To all my readers I have not written due to my inability to type. I am suffering from severe pain in my right arm my doctor said it was carpal tunnel syndrome.
What is carpal tunnel syndrome?
Carpus is a word derived from the Greek word "karpos" which means "wrist." The wrist is surrounded by a band of fibrous tissue that normally functions as a support for the joint. The tight space between this fibrous band and the wrist bone is called the carpal tunnel. The median nerve passes through the carpal tunnel to receive sensations from the thumb, index, and middle fingers of the hand. Any condition that causes swelling or a change in position of the tissue within the carpal tunnel can squeeze and irritate the median nerve. Irritation of the median nerve in this manner causes tingling and numbness of the thumb, index, and the middle fingers, a condition known as "carpal tunnel syndrome."
What conditions and diseases cause carpal tunnel syndrome?
For most patients, the cause of their carpal tunnel syndrome is unknown. Any condition that exerts pressure on the median nerve at the wrist can cause carpal tunnel syndrome. Common conditions that can lead to carpal tunnel syndrome include obesity, pregnancy, hypothyroidism, arthritis, diabetes, and trauma. Tendon inflammation resulting from repetitive work, such as uninterrupted typing, can also cause carpal tunnel symptoms. Carpal tunnel syndrome from repetitive maneuvers has been referred to as one of the repetitive stress injuries. Some rare diseases can cause deposition of abnormal substances in and around the carpal tunnel, leading to nerve irritation.
I will be going to the doctors this week for and X-ray so hopefully I will get some good news, if there is no good news, I will have to turn to vlogging.
See you soon…. I still read yours blog but cant comment as often as I once did, sorry about that also..
What is carpal tunnel syndrome?
Carpus is a word derived from the Greek word "karpos" which means "wrist." The wrist is surrounded by a band of fibrous tissue that normally functions as a support for the joint. The tight space between this fibrous band and the wrist bone is called the carpal tunnel. The median nerve passes through the carpal tunnel to receive sensations from the thumb, index, and middle fingers of the hand. Any condition that causes swelling or a change in position of the tissue within the carpal tunnel can squeeze and irritate the median nerve. Irritation of the median nerve in this manner causes tingling and numbness of the thumb, index, and the middle fingers, a condition known as "carpal tunnel syndrome."
What conditions and diseases cause carpal tunnel syndrome?
For most patients, the cause of their carpal tunnel syndrome is unknown. Any condition that exerts pressure on the median nerve at the wrist can cause carpal tunnel syndrome. Common conditions that can lead to carpal tunnel syndrome include obesity, pregnancy, hypothyroidism, arthritis, diabetes, and trauma. Tendon inflammation resulting from repetitive work, such as uninterrupted typing, can also cause carpal tunnel symptoms. Carpal tunnel syndrome from repetitive maneuvers has been referred to as one of the repetitive stress injuries. Some rare diseases can cause deposition of abnormal substances in and around the carpal tunnel, leading to nerve irritation.
I will be going to the doctors this week for and X-ray so hopefully I will get some good news, if there is no good news, I will have to turn to vlogging.
See you soon…. I still read yours blog but cant comment as often as I once did, sorry about that also..
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Cheater got burn pt 2
I went home that night shut my room door so tight even put on the safety look just in case someone had a key, I cried the night away I could not sleep,what I could not even concentrate I was really torn up. So I decided to give her a call.
“Hey I am sorry” was the first words that came off her deceiving tongue
“Why did you do this to me?”
I asked, I really wanted to know what really happened. Or I should say how did this took place; I wanted to know everything, where, when, how many times, was he better than I was? All the crazy question you ask when you have been ran over by this truck called deceit.
Coming to the realization that the more information I got from her the more it hurts, I hung up my phone up, started asking god, why? Why god why? Why me. Then I remembered that I maybe have imposed this same pain on someone by not being honest.
With all these things running through my mind I herd a voice said forgive her and try to work it out.
I searched for the phone after tossing away after I hung up, found it, thought about it for sometime then gave in to that voice, when I called I could not put my words together, my lips were trembling so bad, my heart was racing and my mind was saying your a crazy son of a gun, what are you really doing.
But I did not listen to my mind my heart won that harm resell so I had to do what the heart said, and that I did, I told her I would forgave her and try to work this out, I really wanted to, I was really in love, if you can forgive someone who cheats that’s how you know you really in love, or that’s how you know or confirms that your truly stupid.
We decided to work on the relationahip but them a little friend visited me by the name of trust, and he asked me a few questions, do you think you can really do this? my heart said yes off course why my mind said there is no way you can stop being so dumb. Yet again I was confused, so I still went with my heart, and I told trust I could do this.
Two weeks went by and I started to think straight, as you know you can’t think too straight when your mind and heart is in a tight struggle, then I was revisited my trust, my mind was about to win this one, my heart was pounding as well but my mind was in demand of this victory.
I came to the realization that I could not trust her one bit, and once trust is gone all is lost, I mean all is really lost, I started getting the feeling of wanting to know where she were every min of the day, this was unlike me, it was a very uncomfortable feeling, I could no longer live like this, I had to get out of this.
So I planned my escape route, school was about to start and studding was a great way to get over this, but then I started thinking about that girl that gave me the kiss, o perfect maybe I could go out with her now, I did like her after all. But little did I know I was in for a rude awakening, when we got back on campus she was pregnant. The guy did not believe in having babies out of wed lock, something that I so happen to believe in also so they did it, they got married.
So here I was like a fish out of water, more confused with only my books to turn to, and that is exactly what I did, I picked up 2 more classes, from five classes to seven even though I had to pay for the seventh one, I did not care, I studied hard very hard maybe too much at times, but I can say it really propelled me to achieve and that I did. I graduated at the age of 20 with my Bachelors in Accounting. In three years instead of four.
It so happen that recently I stumbled on her online we spoke briefly, what I found out was that she still did not have a college degree, she is at the place she was five year ago when we broke up, then I think to myself god knows what’s best, because people who is stagnant is not my type. But I have learnt a valuable lesson from this,” Honesty is the best policy”
Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.M.K.Ash
I never cheated again……..and so happen to still be single…love to hate it at times
“Hey I am sorry” was the first words that came off her deceiving tongue
“Why did you do this to me?”
I asked, I really wanted to know what really happened. Or I should say how did this took place; I wanted to know everything, where, when, how many times, was he better than I was? All the crazy question you ask when you have been ran over by this truck called deceit.
Coming to the realization that the more information I got from her the more it hurts, I hung up my phone up, started asking god, why? Why god why? Why me. Then I remembered that I maybe have imposed this same pain on someone by not being honest.
With all these things running through my mind I herd a voice said forgive her and try to work it out.
I searched for the phone after tossing away after I hung up, found it, thought about it for sometime then gave in to that voice, when I called I could not put my words together, my lips were trembling so bad, my heart was racing and my mind was saying your a crazy son of a gun, what are you really doing.
But I did not listen to my mind my heart won that harm resell so I had to do what the heart said, and that I did, I told her I would forgave her and try to work this out, I really wanted to, I was really in love, if you can forgive someone who cheats that’s how you know you really in love, or that’s how you know or confirms that your truly stupid.
We decided to work on the relationahip but them a little friend visited me by the name of trust, and he asked me a few questions, do you think you can really do this? my heart said yes off course why my mind said there is no way you can stop being so dumb. Yet again I was confused, so I still went with my heart, and I told trust I could do this.
Two weeks went by and I started to think straight, as you know you can’t think too straight when your mind and heart is in a tight struggle, then I was revisited my trust, my mind was about to win this one, my heart was pounding as well but my mind was in demand of this victory.
I came to the realization that I could not trust her one bit, and once trust is gone all is lost, I mean all is really lost, I started getting the feeling of wanting to know where she were every min of the day, this was unlike me, it was a very uncomfortable feeling, I could no longer live like this, I had to get out of this.
So I planned my escape route, school was about to start and studding was a great way to get over this, but then I started thinking about that girl that gave me the kiss, o perfect maybe I could go out with her now, I did like her after all. But little did I know I was in for a rude awakening, when we got back on campus she was pregnant. The guy did not believe in having babies out of wed lock, something that I so happen to believe in also so they did it, they got married.
So here I was like a fish out of water, more confused with only my books to turn to, and that is exactly what I did, I picked up 2 more classes, from five classes to seven even though I had to pay for the seventh one, I did not care, I studied hard very hard maybe too much at times, but I can say it really propelled me to achieve and that I did. I graduated at the age of 20 with my Bachelors in Accounting. In three years instead of four.
It so happen that recently I stumbled on her online we spoke briefly, what I found out was that she still did not have a college degree, she is at the place she was five year ago when we broke up, then I think to myself god knows what’s best, because people who is stagnant is not my type. But I have learnt a valuable lesson from this,” Honesty is the best policy”
Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.M.K.Ash
I never cheated again……..and so happen to still be single…love to hate it at times
Friday, May 1, 2009
Cheater got burn
I am a prisoner of my emotions.
At a tender age I entered the dating scene, which was great at the time at least so I though. I ran around plying with young girls emotion, thinking I was the man. I am unstoppable and invincible, not knowing I am was creating a monster image and setting up myself for a very bad future.
As the years went by I started to imitate my older bothers’ and friends, down the same old path of unfaithfulness, and deceit, this I was very cleaver at doing. With no care in the world I walked on people’s feeling as if I had no remorse no care in this world. It was just the thing to do, every one was doing it and seem to be getting ahead well. Having one girl was just not the thing, being a one burner was a bad thing in the eyes of the guys I spent most of my life with going to school.
All this time I did saw one of my friend being a faithful Samaritan, very committed, and content with who is was seeing, had no reason to be like the dog I was, he was a little Christian boy, faith was well grounded. One day he said to me “why do you do the things you do, your hurting these girls and they can’t even see it or find it in their heart to leave”
I was taken aback by his statement.
For a few weeks I started questioning myself why, am I doing this? Why can’t I just settle for one? Would I like this to be done to my sisters or for that matter any female family member I have? The answer was right there, I started to think I need to start being honest with these young ladies. But hurting people's feeling this way was something I was not really good at doing, even though I was hurting it by not being honest.
Time went by and I found the strength to start telling some of these ladies that I am not really interested in them, and I am just not ready for a relationship, this did not went as smooth as I am saying it, but I tried my best in a space of two months I was down to zero.
I decided that I need to learn how to be by myself for sometime to think about the bad things I had done which I am really sorry for.
July 15 2001
I was a new person, going single for sometime and feeling good about it; I took my friend advice and went to church and start learning the bible, went and ask for forgiveness. This was not an easy thing for me, with my other friends asking what’s wrong, I have changed that’s what had happen. I started to focus more on my school work, even though I managed my time well when I was doing all those things.
One day I drove by friend house to give her some stuff, when I rang the door bell her aunt answered the door, we both looked each other eye to eye for a minute before we said a word, and she broke the silence and invited me in. As I sat down I felt the feeling coming over me, look up at her once more then I knew it, I was in love weird yes but some how I know she was the one, she was feeling the same feeling I was feeling, I was finally introduce to her by my friend from that moment we started getting to know each other.
We started going out, I was so in love ,it felt so good, this is what I was missing while I was messing with people I had no feeling for, and the feeling was great I was in heaven for the first time in my life. She was very beautiful nice eyes nice lips a voice that spoke directly to my heart, I knew this was it, and I had stop playing games right in time.
It was time for me to go away to college, I honestly would rather go to a local college so I could see her more often but that was not going to happen, I went away to school, in my first semester I met a young lady who so happen to share the birth date as I do, she also was very beautiful temptation # one, her mom Chinese her dad was black. To be totally honest we had a lot in common.
One day at the end of my marketing class I was packing up my books talking to my friend, who was sitting next to me, suddenly I felt my head pulled back and in a flash her soft lips were all over mines, I was shocked, I did not know what to do but kiss back which I did and I felt good. As I watch her walk out the door I was still in shock I had an idea that she liked me but not enough to steal a kiss, my friend asked, what the hell was that about? my reaction was I have no clue! one thing I knew she could kiss.
Seriously confused I start thinking about my girl, I felt guilty even though I was not the one who started this, I did not know what to do or how to react the next time I saw this young lady. The next time we had class together we both acted as if it was the first time we ever seen each other, yes this was going great, at least so I though, one day she wanted to talk I was interested to hear what she had to say.
As we walked to the village to talk ,I was very nervous for some reason, we got there sat on the park bench, she held my hand and said Jermaine I really like you, we have a lot in common and I could not help that you did not make the first move so that’s why I kissed you that evening. I was very nervous didn't know what to say, starting looking up in the sky like god was going to give me an answer for this dilemma.
I can’t do this, was my first word, I could see her withdrawal as her skin got really red, eyes filled with water, I told her I had a girl, then it all fell down she started crying I could not help it I started crying also, she was asking me to leave my girl for her, that I could not do even though I liked her. I had already made a commitment to love one person an that was my current girl friend.As I watch her walked away my heart was pounding, suddenly my friend broke the corner I wipe my eyes quickly and shook my self out of that, I could not allow my friend to see my crying, I would have to explain to him what was going on and when it come to things like that I was very secretive.
Before I knew it, it was the end of the semester and it was time to put our stuff in storage, I was exited to get home to see my girl, got home about 9pm went to see my girl, but for some reason she was acting brand new, I asked her what was wrong she did not want to talk about it, I persisted and finally she gave in.
Jermaine I am sorry but I slept with my x Boyfriend, I could not even speak I was in shock, I was speechless for about 5 minutes, my head started poundings with a constant headache, I was so shock I could not even allow myself to cry, the lady I was saving my self for cheated on me, instantly my college crush came in mind. Why didn’t I fallow her and leave this girl I would not have been in this situation.was this pay back for all the bad i had done, one thing i was sure of was this i now know how those young lady felt
To be continued……….
fallow me to twitterhttp://twitter.com/jackostain
At a tender age I entered the dating scene, which was great at the time at least so I though. I ran around plying with young girls emotion, thinking I was the man. I am unstoppable and invincible, not knowing I am was creating a monster image and setting up myself for a very bad future.
As the years went by I started to imitate my older bothers’ and friends, down the same old path of unfaithfulness, and deceit, this I was very cleaver at doing. With no care in the world I walked on people’s feeling as if I had no remorse no care in this world. It was just the thing to do, every one was doing it and seem to be getting ahead well. Having one girl was just not the thing, being a one burner was a bad thing in the eyes of the guys I spent most of my life with going to school.
All this time I did saw one of my friend being a faithful Samaritan, very committed, and content with who is was seeing, had no reason to be like the dog I was, he was a little Christian boy, faith was well grounded. One day he said to me “why do you do the things you do, your hurting these girls and they can’t even see it or find it in their heart to leave”
I was taken aback by his statement.
For a few weeks I started questioning myself why, am I doing this? Why can’t I just settle for one? Would I like this to be done to my sisters or for that matter any female family member I have? The answer was right there, I started to think I need to start being honest with these young ladies. But hurting people's feeling this way was something I was not really good at doing, even though I was hurting it by not being honest.
Time went by and I found the strength to start telling some of these ladies that I am not really interested in them, and I am just not ready for a relationship, this did not went as smooth as I am saying it, but I tried my best in a space of two months I was down to zero.
I decided that I need to learn how to be by myself for sometime to think about the bad things I had done which I am really sorry for.
July 15 2001
I was a new person, going single for sometime and feeling good about it; I took my friend advice and went to church and start learning the bible, went and ask for forgiveness. This was not an easy thing for me, with my other friends asking what’s wrong, I have changed that’s what had happen. I started to focus more on my school work, even though I managed my time well when I was doing all those things.
One day I drove by friend house to give her some stuff, when I rang the door bell her aunt answered the door, we both looked each other eye to eye for a minute before we said a word, and she broke the silence and invited me in. As I sat down I felt the feeling coming over me, look up at her once more then I knew it, I was in love weird yes but some how I know she was the one, she was feeling the same feeling I was feeling, I was finally introduce to her by my friend from that moment we started getting to know each other.
We started going out, I was so in love ,it felt so good, this is what I was missing while I was messing with people I had no feeling for, and the feeling was great I was in heaven for the first time in my life. She was very beautiful nice eyes nice lips a voice that spoke directly to my heart, I knew this was it, and I had stop playing games right in time.
It was time for me to go away to college, I honestly would rather go to a local college so I could see her more often but that was not going to happen, I went away to school, in my first semester I met a young lady who so happen to share the birth date as I do, she also was very beautiful temptation # one, her mom Chinese her dad was black. To be totally honest we had a lot in common.
One day at the end of my marketing class I was packing up my books talking to my friend, who was sitting next to me, suddenly I felt my head pulled back and in a flash her soft lips were all over mines, I was shocked, I did not know what to do but kiss back which I did and I felt good. As I watch her walk out the door I was still in shock I had an idea that she liked me but not enough to steal a kiss, my friend asked, what the hell was that about? my reaction was I have no clue! one thing I knew she could kiss.
Seriously confused I start thinking about my girl, I felt guilty even though I was not the one who started this, I did not know what to do or how to react the next time I saw this young lady. The next time we had class together we both acted as if it was the first time we ever seen each other, yes this was going great, at least so I though, one day she wanted to talk I was interested to hear what she had to say.
As we walked to the village to talk ,I was very nervous for some reason, we got there sat on the park bench, she held my hand and said Jermaine I really like you, we have a lot in common and I could not help that you did not make the first move so that’s why I kissed you that evening. I was very nervous didn't know what to say, starting looking up in the sky like god was going to give me an answer for this dilemma.
I can’t do this, was my first word, I could see her withdrawal as her skin got really red, eyes filled with water, I told her I had a girl, then it all fell down she started crying I could not help it I started crying also, she was asking me to leave my girl for her, that I could not do even though I liked her. I had already made a commitment to love one person an that was my current girl friend.As I watch her walked away my heart was pounding, suddenly my friend broke the corner I wipe my eyes quickly and shook my self out of that, I could not allow my friend to see my crying, I would have to explain to him what was going on and when it come to things like that I was very secretive.
Before I knew it, it was the end of the semester and it was time to put our stuff in storage, I was exited to get home to see my girl, got home about 9pm went to see my girl, but for some reason she was acting brand new, I asked her what was wrong she did not want to talk about it, I persisted and finally she gave in.
Jermaine I am sorry but I slept with my x Boyfriend, I could not even speak I was in shock, I was speechless for about 5 minutes, my head started poundings with a constant headache, I was so shock I could not even allow myself to cry, the lady I was saving my self for cheated on me, instantly my college crush came in mind. Why didn’t I fallow her and leave this girl I would not have been in this situation.was this pay back for all the bad i had done, one thing i was sure of was this i now know how those young lady felt
To be continued……….
fallow me to twitterhttp://twitter.com/jackostain
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
THis is how the Swine Flu started
This is not a serious post, but the way the media is making this story out to be i am even afraid of taking the train, which i so have to do to get to work.
So this is my way of making the subject a little bit lighter. and funny
You could look me up on Twitter@ Jackostain----see you there
Monday, April 27, 2009
HEART BREAK
Woke up Saturday morning went to the Bronx pick my friend and headed to Philadelphia to the University of Pennsylvania to see the Penn Relays. On my way there It so happened that me and another car of friend were racing, being I always have to show who the boss is when it comes to driving. Suddenly my Blackberry was flashing a Greenish light meaning my batter was about to die leaving me with no navigation as I use my phones navigations.
All this time I was consumed by driving and trying to outrun my other friend, I did not take the time to notice the one sitting next to me in the passenger seat. With the weather been so nice I did not have the time to be thinking about nothing but enjoying it, until that enjoyment turn into touchier, as we made it to the New Jersey Turnpike we were greeted to a long lime of traffic, people even getting our their cars and chilling on the highway.
I was really upset due to the fact that we were already late, and that did not help with the weather being 90 degrees, not even the Air Conditioner could help, we were being baked on the highway for about two hours when my impatience kicked in and I gave the other a car a call and say lets take a chance and run the soft shoulders, hoping that we don’t get caught, as you may know that would have been a hell of a fine.
We drove on the side for about 20 minutes, then we finally could see the accident, it was a Tractor trailer turned over blocking the whole high way. So here we are at another halt then my friend decided to start talking.
He said Jacko as every one of my friends call me, I have a big problem man, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t even focus at work. Let’s just call him F and I J.
J “o yeah, man you crazy”
F “I am serious right now” with a very sort tone!!
J “so what’s the cause of this?
F “my wife dumped me”
J “what!! This is crazy, what did you do?
F “got laid off for the past two months, that’s the only thing I did, she say I can’t take her out, she no longer has feelings for me, and she just can’t do this no more.
By this time my mouth was wide open astound by every word that he spoke, I really was in disbelief. I always told this guy he was stupid, for allow this lady to take all his money away when he got paid, now that’s the first thing that came to mind when he told me, I was thinking she ran him broke and dump him like a used sanitary napkin.
J “ I am really sorry to hear this F, I am really surprised, I would not imagine this happening, when she was out of a job for like four months, I know you took good care of her, we even trouble you about how you allow her to spend your money for you.
F “well I guess I learn the hard way”
J “hey such is life”
F “ one thing I know though, this can never happen to me ever again, I will never fall in love this deep with another woman, I will never treat them so nice ever again.
On April the 25 another monster/dush bag/whatever you ladies call it, was born, the ever loving and committed friend of mines was throwing in the towel on love, and being affection. This allowed me to come to this conclusion.
Men one once-females love over and over.
From personal experience I can say that I only loved once in my life, when my girlfriend at the time cheated because I went away to college and she could not take it no more, I was born into the monster I am today. Imagine being on campus passing up a lot of free pussy of you will just to be totally committed, it’s not an easy thing but I did it. When I got home on my break and she broke the news to me I was devastated, I cried, my head pounded like someone was beating it with an hammer, I was confused as to why she would do this to me, listen I cried for like 2 weeks.
This is 6 years ago and I am yet to love again, I have spoken to a lot of guys and they shared similar stories, after listening to all the stories over the years, I came to a conclusion that man love deeper that a woman does. If that’s not true then men sure don’t know how to move on with their lives emotionally. Whenever we get burn we stay burn, while on the other hand when I woman get hurt she get up brush her self off and do it all over again. Men move on they sure do, but will they love that deep, my assumption is NO they will not.
Sunday April 26, 2009
I went by F family’s house to see how he was doing, as his wife also kicked him out their house, I saw him smoking, to my self I was like that’s quite weird, this guys don’t smoke, when he see be coming he put it out as he know I cant respire around smoke especially cigarette. I did not question his action.
F “you got your car?
J ‘I sure do, what’s up now?
F “let’s take a drive by the pier”
J “ok no problem”
So here we are at the pier, my friend starts to cry, I not knowing what to do, said to him man cut that bull crap, what do you need a hug, if that I am sorry I cant give that to you.
F “J I went to this girl house last night and saw a car with a Hawaii”
J “ listen man I think your going crazy, how the hell cant someone drive from Hawaii to New York, isn’t that an island?
F “Hawaii or Ohio same dam thing, she told me a few months ago that her friend was coming by to look for her, so I was son a stake out at her house until about 5am to see is that guy was coming out our room, I called her like a million times and she did not pick up.
J “ yo you fucking crazy man, what the hell you doing, what Stake out!!, are you the fucking FBI or some shit.
F “you don’t understand, I love that woman.
J “so to brake it to you but she don’t love you, right now she is kicking it when another man”
The look he gave me tell me how angry he was at those words, but I had to say it to him, I know he is hurting, but he was doing some crazy things being at the ladies house that hour of the morning just looking at the house, I said to myself lord please don’t let me fall in a familiar position because I see how much it hurts. To find out your wife dump you today and have a next men in your bed tomorrow.
I know I will have to sit and listen to my friend today, and encourage him to get himself together. But one thing I can’t teach him and its how to trust.
I hate sad stories so here is something to make you laugh
All this time I was consumed by driving and trying to outrun my other friend, I did not take the time to notice the one sitting next to me in the passenger seat. With the weather been so nice I did not have the time to be thinking about nothing but enjoying it, until that enjoyment turn into touchier, as we made it to the New Jersey Turnpike we were greeted to a long lime of traffic, people even getting our their cars and chilling on the highway.
I was really upset due to the fact that we were already late, and that did not help with the weather being 90 degrees, not even the Air Conditioner could help, we were being baked on the highway for about two hours when my impatience kicked in and I gave the other a car a call and say lets take a chance and run the soft shoulders, hoping that we don’t get caught, as you may know that would have been a hell of a fine.
We drove on the side for about 20 minutes, then we finally could see the accident, it was a Tractor trailer turned over blocking the whole high way. So here we are at another halt then my friend decided to start talking.
He said Jacko as every one of my friends call me, I have a big problem man, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t even focus at work. Let’s just call him F and I J.
J “o yeah, man you crazy”
F “I am serious right now” with a very sort tone!!
J “so what’s the cause of this?
F “my wife dumped me”
J “what!! This is crazy, what did you do?
F “got laid off for the past two months, that’s the only thing I did, she say I can’t take her out, she no longer has feelings for me, and she just can’t do this no more.
By this time my mouth was wide open astound by every word that he spoke, I really was in disbelief. I always told this guy he was stupid, for allow this lady to take all his money away when he got paid, now that’s the first thing that came to mind when he told me, I was thinking she ran him broke and dump him like a used sanitary napkin.
J “ I am really sorry to hear this F, I am really surprised, I would not imagine this happening, when she was out of a job for like four months, I know you took good care of her, we even trouble you about how you allow her to spend your money for you.
F “well I guess I learn the hard way”
J “hey such is life”
F “ one thing I know though, this can never happen to me ever again, I will never fall in love this deep with another woman, I will never treat them so nice ever again.
On April the 25 another monster/dush bag/whatever you ladies call it, was born, the ever loving and committed friend of mines was throwing in the towel on love, and being affection. This allowed me to come to this conclusion.
Men one once-females love over and over.
From personal experience I can say that I only loved once in my life, when my girlfriend at the time cheated because I went away to college and she could not take it no more, I was born into the monster I am today. Imagine being on campus passing up a lot of free pussy of you will just to be totally committed, it’s not an easy thing but I did it. When I got home on my break and she broke the news to me I was devastated, I cried, my head pounded like someone was beating it with an hammer, I was confused as to why she would do this to me, listen I cried for like 2 weeks.
This is 6 years ago and I am yet to love again, I have spoken to a lot of guys and they shared similar stories, after listening to all the stories over the years, I came to a conclusion that man love deeper that a woman does. If that’s not true then men sure don’t know how to move on with their lives emotionally. Whenever we get burn we stay burn, while on the other hand when I woman get hurt she get up brush her self off and do it all over again. Men move on they sure do, but will they love that deep, my assumption is NO they will not.
Sunday April 26, 2009
I went by F family’s house to see how he was doing, as his wife also kicked him out their house, I saw him smoking, to my self I was like that’s quite weird, this guys don’t smoke, when he see be coming he put it out as he know I cant respire around smoke especially cigarette. I did not question his action.
F “you got your car?
J ‘I sure do, what’s up now?
F “let’s take a drive by the pier”
J “ok no problem”
So here we are at the pier, my friend starts to cry, I not knowing what to do, said to him man cut that bull crap, what do you need a hug, if that I am sorry I cant give that to you.
F “J I went to this girl house last night and saw a car with a Hawaii”
J “ listen man I think your going crazy, how the hell cant someone drive from Hawaii to New York, isn’t that an island?
F “Hawaii or Ohio same dam thing, she told me a few months ago that her friend was coming by to look for her, so I was son a stake out at her house until about 5am to see is that guy was coming out our room, I called her like a million times and she did not pick up.
J “ yo you fucking crazy man, what the hell you doing, what Stake out!!, are you the fucking FBI or some shit.
F “you don’t understand, I love that woman.
J “so to brake it to you but she don’t love you, right now she is kicking it when another man”
The look he gave me tell me how angry he was at those words, but I had to say it to him, I know he is hurting, but he was doing some crazy things being at the ladies house that hour of the morning just looking at the house, I said to myself lord please don’t let me fall in a familiar position because I see how much it hurts. To find out your wife dump you today and have a next men in your bed tomorrow.
I know I will have to sit and listen to my friend today, and encourage him to get himself together. But one thing I can’t teach him and its how to trust.
I hate sad stories so here is something to make you laugh
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